Please enjoy our blog where we give some of our best advice, helpful tips, and share the things we ponder. These are all intended to help you have a better and more fulfilling marriage.


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Why We Wrote a Marriage Book That Everyone Needs but Nobody Wants by Brad Miller

There is a great deal of solid information and teaching out there from some expert marketers on how to market products and services to people just like you. These experts in the field of marketing say that marketers (this includes us since we have books/products to sell) need to survey their potential market to find out where their customers are in life (not location), what they want, and to learn the language they use. Once that information is gathered, a good marketer can create a product specifically targeted to a group that…

Read more…

Most Couples Think They Struggle With Communication at Times. Most of Them are Wrong. by Brad Miller

Tami and I operate a group counseling practice in Southern California. We are known throughout the area for providing the best and most practical marriage counseling around. We love this reputation. With ten licensed counselors and registered interns on our staff, we collectively see about 100 clients each and every week. All of this gives us some incredible insight into the kinds of things that most couples struggle with. Further, we know what it takes to get these couples back on track when needed…

Read more…

You Don’t Process Your Life in a Healthy Way, and it’s Killing You by Brad Miller

We recently wrote, “What They Can Never Take Away From Us” which was a very difficult thing for us to write about. We were robbed and some of our most valuable possessions were taken from us. Forever gone. So, we decided to tell our story about what happened. At one point, someone said something like, “Yeah, but why would you force yourself to relive all of that when you can just forget it?”

I thought, “Forget it? Really?” Are we, as humans, ever able to willingly just forget anything?…

Read more…

What They Can Never Take Away From Us by Brad Miller

What felt like the end of the world for us, was an opportunity for deeper connection in our marriage. I’m so glad we didn’t miss this opportunity. Here’s what happened. Tami and I fell in love at 17 and 18 years old, respectively. What a wonderful, fun time this was in our lives. Once we started dating, we enjoyed four foundational years of romance and were married by the time we were 21 and 22. We both came from humble backgrounds — so, in our new married life together, we had nothing except each other…

Read more…

How to Break Your Spouse’s Heart the Right Way by Brad Miller

If you are married, sooner or later you will have to deliver some difficult or heartbreaking news to your spouse. Maybe you got the phone call about your spouse’s dad being in a car accident. Or maybe it was the message that let you know your spouse did not get the job they’ve been working so hard to get. Let’s face it, life is hard at times. So, what’s the right way to handle these disappointments? I recently got some really heartbreaking news. I knew that I would need to…

Read more…

Your Marriage Doesn't Live Here Anymore by Brad Miller

This is a true story. There is a house that I drive by several times a week and have been doing so for years. Each time I drive past this house I can feel the weight of what happened there, or more accurately, what didn't happen there. At one point, when the "For Sale" sign went up, the weight became heavier still. And when the moving truck pulled away with the last of this house's former belongings, the weight for me was palpable. I have considered finding a new route that does not include…

Read more…

Apologies, Forgiveness, Grace, and Love in Marriage by Brad Miller

We get asked many many questions about how apologies, forgiveness, grace, love, and expectations should all work together. For example: Does every apology need forgiveness to bring closure? And, if so, how do you get your spouse to forgive after you apologize? And what about this one: Isn't grace and forgiveness really the same thing? To answer these questions well, let's go back to the beginning – the beginning of people…

Read more…

You and Your Spouse Have Differences and the Problem Is Not What You Think It Is by Brad Miller

If you have been married for any time at all, you have become keenly aware of the differences between you and your spouse. I am talking about the kind of differences that drive you both bonkers. For example, maybe one of you makes decisions quickly and decisively and the other makes them slowly and methodically. This kind of thing drives you both crazy. Or, maybe one of you gets your feelings hurt easily and the other never seems to…

Read more…

​How Thinking the Best of Your Spouse Will Change You and Your World by Brad Miller

Let's walk through a little example. Let's assume that your spouse had a misunderstanding with your mother-in-law—again. You assume the worst (maybe you truly believe you are being realistic) and you tell your spouse, "I can't believe you did this again!" Your spouse is trying to explain what actually happened, but you don't really want to listen. And since your mind is already made up about what happened, your not wanting to listen would make perfect sense…

Read more…

Why You Should Never Give Up on Your Marriage by Brad Miller

This past week, Tami and I were celebrating the birthday of some long-time friends in Newport Beach. They rented a beach house and asked several couples to join them for a few days to celebrate an important birthday. As we often do when we all get together, we spent some time riding bikes with our friends. On Monday morning, Tami and I decided to get up early and ride with another couple to one of our favorite SoCal coffee shops, Kean Coffee. This coffee shop was only…

Search

Filter

Why We Wrote a Marriage Book That Everyone Needs but Nobody Wants

There is a great deal of solid information and teaching out there from some expert marketers on how to market products and services to people just like you. These experts in the field of marketing say that marketers (this includes us since we have books/products to sell) need to survey their potential market to find out where their customers are in life (not location), what they want, and to learn the language they use. Once that information is gathered, a good marketer can create a product specifically targeted to a group that…

Read more of this article

Most Couples Think They Struggle With Communication at Times. Most of Them are Wrong.

Tami and I operate a group counseling practice in Southern California. We are known throughout the area for providing the best and most practical marriage counseling around. We love this reputation. With ten licensed counselors and registered interns on our staff, we collectively see about 100 clients each and every week. All of this gives us some incredible insight into the kinds of things that most couples struggle with. Further, we know what it takes to get these couples back on track when needed…

Read more of this article

You Don’t Process Your Life in a Healthy Way, and it’s Killing You

We recently wrote, “What They Can Never Take Away From Us” which was a very difficult thing for us to write about. We were robbed and some of our most valuable possessions were taken from us. Forever gone. So, we decided to tell our story about what happened. At one point, someone said something like, “Yeah, but why would you force yourself to relive all of that when you can just forget it?”

I thought, “Forget it? Really?” Are we, as humans, ever able to willingly just forget anything?…

Read more of this article

What They Can Never Take Away From Us

What felt like the end of the world for us, was an opportunity for deeper connection in our marriage. I’m so glad we didn’t miss this opportunity. Here’s what happened. Tami and I fell in love at 17 and 18 years old, respectively. What a wonderful, fun time this was in our lives. Once we started dating, we enjoyed four foundational years of romance and were married by the time we were 21 and 22. We both came from humble backgrounds — so, in our new married life together, we had nothing except each other…

Read more of this article

How to Break Your Spouse’s Heart the Right Way

If you are married, sooner or later you will have to deliver some difficult or heartbreaking news to your spouse. Maybe you got the phone call about your spouse’s dad being in a car accident. Or maybe it was the message that let you know your spouse did not get the job they’ve been working so hard to get. Let’s face it, life is hard at times. So, what’s the right way to handle these disappointments? I recently got some really heartbreaking news. I knew that I would need to…

Read more of this article

Your Marriage Doesn't Live Here Anymore

This is a true story. There is a house that I drive by several times a week and have been doing so for years. Each time I drive past this house I can feel the weight of what happened there, or more accurately, what didn't happen there. At one point, when the "For Sale" sign went up, the weight became heavier still. And when the moving truck pulled away with the last of this house's former belongings, the weight for me was palpable. I have considered finding a new route that does not include…

Read more of this article

Apologies, Forgiveness, Grace, and Love in Marriage

We get asked many many questions about how apologies, forgiveness, grace, love, and expectations should all work together. For example: Does every apology need forgiveness to bring closure? And, if so, how do you get your spouse to forgive after you apologize? And what about this one: Isn't grace and forgiveness really the same thing? To answer these questions well, let's go back to the beginning – the beginning of people…

Read more of this article

You and Your Spouse Have Differences and the Problem Is Not What You Think It Is

If you have been married for any time at all, you have become keenly aware of the differences between you and your spouse. I am talking about the kind of differences that drive you both bonkers. For example, maybe one of you makes decisions quickly and decisively and the other makes them slowly and methodically. This kind of thing drives you both crazy. Or, maybe one of you gets your feelings hurt easily and the other never seems to…

Read more of this article

​How Thinking the Best of Your Spouse Will Change You and Your World

Let's walk through a little example. Let's assume that your spouse had a misunderstanding with your mother-in-law—again. You assume the worst (maybe you truly believe you are being realistic) and you tell your spouse, "I can't believe you did this again!" Your spouse is trying to explain what actually happened, but you don't really want to listen. And since your mind is already made up about what happened, your not wanting to listen would make perfect sense…

Read more of this article

Why You Should Never Give Up on Your Marriage

This past week, Tami and I were celebrating the birthday of some long-time friends in Newport Beach. They rented a beach house and asked several couples to join them for a few days to celebrate an important birthday. As we often do when we all get together, we spent some time riding bikes with our friends. On Monday morning, Tami and I decided to get up early and ride with another couple to one of our favorite SoCal coffee shops, Kean Coffee. This coffee shop was only…

Read more of this article