Tandem Marriage

~ Tandem Marriage Blog ~

Please enjoy our blog where we have written some of our best advice, helpful tips, and things we ponder. These are all intended to help you have a better and more fulfilling marriage.

Please enjoy our blog where we have written some of our best advice, helpful tips, and things we ponder. These are all intended to help you have a better and more fulfilling marriage.

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Apologies, Forgiveness, Grace, and Love in Marriage

We get asked many many questions about how apologies, forgiveness, grace, love, and expectations should all work together. For example: Does every apology need forgiveness to bring closure? And, if so, how do you get your spouse to forgive after you apologize? And what about this one: Isn't grace and forgiveness really the same thing? To answer these questions well, let's go back to the beginning – the beginning of people. In Genesis 2:18, we see that God gave a woman to Adam to be a _partner_ or _companion_. The thought behind the Hebrew phrase "ezer kenegdo" means that God was giving Adam something that no animal or even God would provide…
READ MORE of the article above…
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You and Your Spouse Have Differences and the Problem Is Not What You Think It Is

If you have been married for any time at all, you have become keenly aware of the differences between you and your spouse. I am talking about the kind of differences that drive you bonkers. One of you makes decisions quickly and decisively and the other makes them slowly and methodically. This kind of thing drives you both crazy. One of you gets your feelings hurt easily and the other never seems to feel anything at all. Or one of you is very punctual and respectful of other's time and the other one of you seems to have little concept of time and is always running late…

READ MORE of the article above…
Comments

​How Thinking the Best of Your Spouse Will Change You and Your World

Let's walk through a little example. Let's assume that your spouse had a misunderstanding with your mother-in-law—again. You assume the worst (maybe you truly believe you are being realistic) and you tell your spouse, "I can't believe you did this again!" Your spouse is trying to explain what actually happened, but you don't really want to listen. And since your mind is already made up about what happened, your not wanting to listen would make perfect sense. Your spouse feels disrespected and treated unjustly. Before you know it, your spouse starts talking louder as the discussion escalates…

READ MORE of the article above…
Comments

Why You Should Never Give Up on Your Marriage

This past week, Tami and I were celebrating the birthday of some long-time friends in Newport Beach. They rented a beach house and asked several couples to join them for a few days to celebrate an important birthday. As we often do when we all get together, we spent some time riding bikes with our friends. On Monday morning, Tami and I decided to get up early and ride with another couple to one of our favorite SoCal coffee shops, Kean Coffee. This coffee shop was only about 3 miles from the house where we stayed and certainly not a problem for Tami and I to ride that far for good coffee…

READ MORE of the article above…
Comments

Your Marriage Really Is What You Think It Is!

I recently read a great book by Dr. David Stoup called, "You Are What You Think." While this blog post is not intended to serve as a book review, the implication of Dr. Stoup's implications for marriage are just too good not to share! First, let's talk about brains. Helping people manage their brains is something I've done for years and something I am quite passionate about. I love teaching people how they can mold their brains in ways that allow them to have better lives and marriages. Others have referred to our brains as, "The Amazing Plastic Brain" because our brains are so moldable…

READ MORE of the article above…
Comments

Show more AMAZING posts

Apologies, Forgiveness, Grace, and Love in Marriage

We get asked many many questions about how apologies, forgiveness, grace, love, and expectations should all work together. For example: Does every apology need forgiveness to bring closure? And, if so, how do you get your spouse to forgive after you apologize? And what about this one: Isn't grace and forgiveness really the same thing? To answer these questions well, let's go back to the beginning – the beginning of people. In Genesis 2:18, we see that God gave a woman to Adam to be a _partner_ or _companion_. The thought behind the Hebrew phrase "ezer kenegdo" means that God was giving Adam something that no animal or even God would provide…
READ MORE of the article above…
Comments

You and Your Spouse Have Differences and the Problem Is Not What You Think It Is

If you have been married for any time at all, you have become keenly aware of the differences between you and your spouse. I am talking about the kind of differences that drive you bonkers. One of you makes decisions quickly and decisively and the other makes them slowly and methodically. This kind of thing drives you both crazy. One of you gets your feelings hurt easily and the other never seems to feel anything at all. Or one of you is very punctual and respectful of other's time and the other one of you seems to have little concept of time and is always running late…

READ MORE of the article above…
Comments

​How Thinking the Best of Your Spouse Will Change You and Your World

Let's walk through a little example. Let's assume that your spouse had a misunderstanding with your mother-in-law—again. You assume the worst (maybe you truly believe you are being realistic) and you tell your spouse, "I can't believe you did this again!" Your spouse is trying to explain what actually happened, but you don't really want to listen. And since your mind is already made up about what happened, your not wanting to listen would make perfect sense. Your spouse feels disrespected and treated unjustly. Before you know it, your spouse starts talking louder as the discussion escalates…

READ MORE of the article above…
Comments

Why You Should Never Give Up on Your Marriage

This past week, Tami and I were celebrating the birthday of some long-time friends in Newport Beach. They rented a beach house and asked several couples to join them for a few days to celebrate an important birthday. As we often do when we all get together, we spent some time riding bikes with our friends. On Monday morning, Tami and I decided to get up early and ride with another couple to one of our favorite SoCal coffee shops, Kean Coffee. This coffee shop was only about 3 miles from the house where we stayed and certainly not a problem for Tami and I to ride that far for good coffee…

READ MORE of the article above…
Comments

Your Marriage Really Is What You Think It Is!

I recently read a great book by Dr. David Stoup called, "You Are What You Think." While this blog post is not intended to serve as a book review, the implication of Dr. Stoup's implications for marriage are just too good not to share! First, let's talk about brains. Helping people manage their brains is something I've done for years and something I am quite passionate about. I love teaching people how they can mold their brains in ways that allow them to have better lives and marriages. Others have referred to our brains as, "The Amazing Plastic Brain" because our brains are so moldable…

READ MORE of the article above…
Comments

Show more AMAZING posts