Tandem Marriage

~ Tandem Marriage Blog ~

Please enjoy our blog where we have written some of our best advice, helpful tips, and things we ponder. These are all intended to help you have a better and more fulfilling marriage.

Please enjoy our blog where we have written some of our best advice, helpful tips, and things we ponder. These are all intended to help you have a better and more fulfilling marriage.

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​Romantic Love is Great, But it Won’t Last Forever. And That is Good News.

Tami and I have been married for over 32 years and we dated for 4 years before that. Additionally, Tami is a licensed marriage counselor and we have worked with many, many couples together over the years. Add to this the fact that I work in the neurology field and you will agree that together Tami and I have a pretty good grasp on both the psychology and science of relationships. Further, we love to share what we have learned with others just like you. We all know that the early stages of love brings us so much joy. Truth be told, there is a chemical cocktail of oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin….

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​At Some Point, the Majority of Spouses Will Wonder if They Married They Wrong Person.

There is so much wrong with this line of thinking. We are not saying there is something wrong with you, by the way, since this line of thinking is so pervasive in our culture. This thinking will affect us all. So the job falls to us to teach you why this mindset is so flawed. This flawed thinking is based on the notion that there is one, and only one, perfect person for you on this planet. Only one! Remember that there are approximately 7.5 billion people on the planet. This “finding a needle in a haystack” kind of mentality tricks us into believing that when, not if, something feels wrong in our marriage…

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You Don’t Process Your Life in a Healthy Way, and it’s Killing You

We recently wrote, “What They Can Never Take Away From Us” which was a very difficult thing for us to write about. We were robbed and some of our most valuable possessions were taken from us. Forever gone. So, we decided to tell our story about what happened. At one point, someone said something like, “Yeah, but why would you force yourself to relive all of that when you can just forget it?” I thought, “Forget it? Really?” Are we, as humans, ever able to willingly just forget anything…

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What They Can Never Take Away From Us

What felt like the end of the world for us, was an opportunity for deeper connection in our marriage. I’m so glad we didn’t miss this opportunity. Here’s what happened. Tami and I fell in love at 17 and 18 years old, respectively. What a wonderful, fun time this was in our lives. Once we started dating, we enjoyed four foundational years of romance and were married by the time we were 21 and 22. We both came from humble backgrounds — so, in our new married life together, we had nothing except each other, but in each other we had everything we needed…

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Your Marriage Doesn't Live Here Anymore

This is a true story. There is a house that I drive by several times a week and have been doing so for years. Each time I drive passed this house, I can feel the weight of what happened there or, more accurately, what didn't happen there. At one point, when the "For Sale" sign went up, the weight became heavier still. And when the moving truck pulled away with the last of this house's former belongings, the weight for me was palpable. I have considered finding a new route that does not include me driving by this house, but I cannot ignore what happened here and I must work through it. I must learn from it so that it never happens to me.

READ MORE of the article above…
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Show more AMAZING posts

​Romantic Love is Great, But it Won’t Last Forever. And That is Good News.

Tami and I have been married for over 32 years and we dated for 4 years before that. Additionally, Tami is a licensed marriage counselor and we have worked with many, many couples together over the years. Add to this the fact that I work in the neurology field and you will agree that together Tami and I have a pretty good grasp on both the psychology and science of relationships. Further, we love to share what we have learned with others just like you. We all know that the early stages of love brings us so much joy. Truth be told, there is a chemical cocktail of oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin….

READ MORE of the article above…
Comments

​At Some Point, the Majority of Spouses Will Wonder if They Married They Wrong Person.

There is so much wrong with this line of thinking. We are not saying there is something wrong with you, by the way, since this line of thinking is so pervasive in our culture. This thinking will affect us all. So the job falls to us to teach you why this mindset is so flawed. This flawed thinking is based on the notion that there is one, and only one, perfect person for you on this planet. Only one! Remember that there are approximately 7.5 billion people on the planet. This “finding a needle in a haystack” kind of mentality tricks us into believing that when, not if, something feels wrong in our marriage…

READ MORE of the article above…
Comments

You Don’t Process Your Life in a Healthy Way, and it’s Killing You

We recently wrote, “What They Can Never Take Away From Us” which was a very difficult thing for us to write about. We were robbed and some of our most valuable possessions were taken from us. Forever gone. So, we decided to tell our story about what happened. At one point, someone said something like, “Yeah, but why would you force yourself to relive all of that when you can just forget it?” I thought, “Forget it? Really?” Are we, as humans, ever able to willingly just forget anything…

READ MORE of the article above…
Comments

What They Can Never Take Away From Us

What felt like the end of the world for us, was an opportunity for deeper connection in our marriage. I’m so glad we didn’t miss this opportunity. Here’s what happened. Tami and I fell in love at 17 and 18 years old, respectively. What a wonderful, fun time this was in our lives. Once we started dating, we enjoyed four foundational years of romance and were married by the time we were 21 and 22. We both came from humble backgrounds — so, in our new married life together, we had nothing except each other, but in each other we had everything we needed…

READ MORE of the article above…
Comments

Your Marriage Doesn't Live Here Anymore

This is a true story. There is a house that I drive by several times a week and have been doing so for years. Each time I drive passed this house, I can feel the weight of what happened there or, more accurately, what didn't happen there. At one point, when the "For Sale" sign went up, the weight became heavier still. And when the moving truck pulled away with the last of this house's former belongings, the weight for me was palpable. I have considered finding a new route that does not include me driving by this house, but I cannot ignore what happened here and I must work through it. I must learn from it so that it never happens to me.

READ MORE of the article above…
Comments

Show more AMAZING posts