Tandem Marriage Blog…

Please enjoy our blog where we give some of our best advice, helpful tips, and share the things we ponder. These articles are all intended to help you have a better and more fulfilling marriage.


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How Your Feelings Will Get You Into Trouble by Brad Miller

Everyone has heard the phrase, "Follow your heart." This is certainly well-intended thinking that is based exclusively on feelings which can be very helpful and even very romantic. But without any context or qualifiers, this kind of thinking will get you into trouble much of the time! Furthermore, we all need to realize that our feelings should only inform our beliefs about ourselves as well as the world around us. Our feelings can be very, very influential in our daily lives. In fact, your marriage today is…

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How You Could be Poisoning Your Marriage Without Even Knowing it! by Brad Miller

At some point, you will wrestle with negative thoughts about your spouse that don’t seem to have the potential to kill your marriage, but they do. Now, I’m not talking about ax-murderer kinds of thoughts, which will ruin your marriage in an instant. No, I’m talking about the thoughts that will kill your marriage very, very slowly. What I’m talking about is just like feeding your marriage one small drop of poison every day. After a week of this poison, your marriage will start to feel sick, like something…

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Conversations That All Married Couples Should be Having by Brad Miller

For anyone who has been married for even a short time, you already know that there are conversations the two of you should be having – but you're not. We all avoid these conversations, each of us for varied reasons. Why do we do this? Why do we not have the conversations that we know we should have? The reasons are many and maybe you can relate to a few of these examples:

  • Maybe there has been more stress than normal in your home and you don't want to add one more thing.
  • Maybe, at the end of your day, you just don't have enough emotional reserve to…
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When You Look for Adventure Together, You Will Find It! by Brad Miller

Most of you, just like Tami and I, are going stir-crazy trying to figure out ways to bring some adventure to your "stuck-at-home" life. We have been learning to be a bit more creative in an effort to continue pouring into our marriage while doing all we can to respect current conditions. With that in mind, we are so excited to tell you about our recent adventure! We recently heard some buzz about an up and coming boutique hotel called Cuyama Buckhorn…

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No Ordinary Anniversary by Brad Miller

Learn to be flexible! Not every little thing that goes wrong needs to upset you. True story. Yesterday was our 35th wedding anniversary. THIRTY- FIVE Y’ALL! The two of us have been looking forward to our 35th anniversary for years, so we could truly celebrate in a big way. After much planning and a good deal of saving, we decided to go to Spain for a few weeks. I know, right? We dreamed of Spanish food, European charm, amazing old-world wines, and a great deal of sightseeing. Then COVID-19 happened…

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You Will Struggle in Your Marriage at Times by Brad Miller

I always say that "every marriage has issues, some couples deal with those issues." The implication here is that, as a married couple, you will either deal with your issues or refuse to. There are only two choices here, you either have issues and deal with them or you have issues and ignore them. So, which kind of married couple are you? Furthermore, any individual problem that causes tension or an issue in a marriage, is a marriage problem. It is not his issue or her issue, not my issue or their issue. IT IS A…


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How You Can be a Hero to Your Spouse by

At some point, we all deal with conflict and hardship in our own marriages – and we all wish we could navigate these situations better. Tami and get a great deal of feedback and questions from spouses who wish they could learn to work through these challenging issues in a healthier way than they currently do. We understand completely which is precisely why we talk about conflict so much and why I am going to share a new idea with you today. To be fair, this is not new to me (Brad) since I have been working on this idea for many years, but it will likely be…

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We All Have Issues, Yours Are Holding You Back by Brad Miller

Imagine a marriage in which neither you nor your spouse has any real issues: there is nothing you need to work on individually or as a couple, there are none of those awkward “rough edges” in your marriage that remind you about the tension just beneath the surface, and you both agree on just about everything (with the rare exception being the color of the master bedroom). THAT marriage will never exist in your home, in your state, or on this planet. Never!

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Vulnerability, Laughter, and Shared Interests by Brad Miller

Allow me to set the stage for you. I (Brad) have always loved music. Sometimes it feels as if well-written song lyrics, and the music that delivers them, help me to better understand things about myself. For example, if I hear a well-written love song, I will often feel more in touch with my own feelings about love and relationships. This means that a good love song can help me process feelings of love and affection for Tami, my wife. Therefore, when I hear a good sappy love song that speaks to me deeply, I play it on repeat — sometimes for days or weeks…

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What Started Out as a Date Night, Ended in a Lesson About Infidelity by Brad Miller

Tami and I tried out a new restaurant the other night. In all honesty, the food was just ok. And since we are being honest, let me tell you what was going on at the table next to ours. Right next to us was a smartly-dressed forty-something couple having a glass wine and some appetizers. When we first sat down, I assumed this was a husband and wife enjoying a date night out on the town, sans kiddos. Since Tami and I just sat down, we were busy trying to get ourselves situated. We were looking at the menu to see…

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