Tandem Marriage Blog…

Please enjoy our blog where we give some of our best advice, helpful tips, and share the things we ponder. These articles are all intended to help you have a better and more fulfilling marriage.
PRO TIP: Read each article as a couple (about one per week) and discuss it together. 🔥


Family: The Elephant in the Room by Brad Miller

With the holidays approaching, I want to talk about the “elephant in the room.“ You know, that one thing that we all know is there, but don't like to acknowledge: FAMILY DRAMA!. If, on the other hand, someone reading this has a perfect family who never brings any drama to family functions, you can stop reading this now. For the rest of us, what follows is intended to help you navigate the often unpredictable waters of family dynamics without sinking your ship…

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Yes, You CAN Have a Better Marriage in Just Seven Days by Brad Miller

For years, people have asked us if there is an easy way to get a marriage back on track. We have always said, “There is no easy way to get a marriage back on track, you have to do the work.” When we say, “do the work,” that typically means reading and comprehending good marriage books, or making adjustments to your mindset and lifestyle, or it could mean working consistently with a good counselor. And even though we still believe that doing “the work” is a good recipe for marital success…

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How to Use All Five Senses to Be a Better Lover by Brad Miller

If you listen to what the world tells you about physical intimacy in marriage, you will end up believing that it’s all about you getting your own needs met. The actual truth is, when you allow yourself to focus solely on your own needs during physical intimacy, you are missing out on the very best that physical intimacy has to offer you — you are sacrificing deep relational connection on the altar of personal gratification. This is where it starts to get very interesting because when you seek personal gratification, that’s all you get. But when you seek deep emotional connection, you gain so much more…

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Does the Thought of Constructive Criticism Between You and Your Spouse Make you Cringe? by Brad Miller

The idea of "constructive criticism" for your spouse or from your spouse seems like a euphemism at best and a guaranteed fight at worst. Therefore, we feel the need to wade into these murky waters with you for the purpose of helping to bring clarity to this idea and to help you have a better marriage than you ever dreamed possible.

We get asked some form of this question fairly often, but the most recent iteration sounded like this; 

What do you do if you have “constructive criticism” for your spouse? People do things differently and if you see somewhere where things could be improved on, how do you share…

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You Think Any Conflict Will Hurt Your Marriage, Here is Why You Are Wrong by Brad Miller

Conflict has never been the problem.

Many of you reading this have always thought that any conflict in your marriage is a problem. Therefore, you work hard to avoid fights and don’t have any patience for them when you do have conflicts. After all, conflicts are just a big waste of time, right? Sometimes, you even secretly wonder if you have married the wrong person because of the conflicts that the two of you have. You have reasoned that if you had married a different person…

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Comparison Will Ruin Your Marriage, Learning This Skill Can Save It by Brad Miller

Most of us have some measure of a love/hate relationship with social media. We LOVE to see what other people are doing with their lives; how they live, how they vacation, how they dress, and how they love. But we ultimately HATE how all of this access into the lives of others makes us feel about ourselves and our own lives. These inevitable comparisons of our lives to the lives of others leave us with an unrealistic expectation of ourselves and our own lives. In short, we feel like we can never live up to the  standards we perceive in the lives of others…

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Hope Is Always Available, Even If We Have to Search For It by Brad Miller

This past year has been crazy for us! I'm sure it has been crazy for you too! During the week before COVID interrupted and changed all of our lives, Tami and I were preparing for a Tandem Marriage mentoring weekend with another couple. We love these weekends since they are a perfect balance of bike-riding along the beach, mentoring a sweet couple, eating some amazing food, and laughing a great deal together. In the middle of packing for this trip, we received a difficult phone call from a longtime friend in Arizona…

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Resentment Will Kill Your Marriage, But You Can Save It If You Do The Right Thing by Brad Miller

Resentment is like a cancer. Resentment toward your spouse has no place in a healthy marriage — NONE! Even so, most of us have allowed little bits of this cancer-like resentment into our marriages from time to time. This article will help you understand where resentment comes from, where it will lead to if left unchecked, and how to eliminate it. Where Does Resentment Come From? Resentment is a result of unfulfilled expectations. In practical terms, this means that you had…

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Your Feelings Will Get You Into Trouble If You Let Them by Brad Miller

Everyone has heard the phrase, "Follow your heart." This is certainly well-intended thinking that is based exclusively on feelings which can be very helpful and even very romantic. But without any context or qualifiers, this kind of thinking will get you into trouble much of the time! Furthermore, we all need to realize that our feelings should only inform our beliefs about ourselves as well as the world around us. Our feelings can be very, very influential in our daily lives. In fact, your marriage today is…

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How You Could be Poisoning Your Marriage Without Even Knowing it! by Brad Miller

At some point, you will wrestle with negative thoughts about your spouse that don’t seem to have the potential to kill your marriage, but they do. Now, I’m not talking about ax-murderer kinds of thoughts, which will ruin your marriage in an instant. No, I’m talking about the thoughts that will kill your marriage very, very slowly. What I’m talking about is just like feeding your marriage one small drop of poison every day. After a week of this poison, your marriage will start to feel sick, like something…

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