Tandem Marriage

~ Tandem Marriage Blog ~

Please enjoy our blog where we have written some of our best advice, helpful tips, and things we ponder. These are all intended to help you have a better and more fulfilling marriage.

Please enjoy our blog where we have written some of our best advice, helpful tips, and things we ponder. These are all intended to help you have a better and more fulfilling marriage.

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A Common Marriage Misconception About Your Type

Cupid, The Love DoctorDo you ever wonder what "your type" is? Have you ever thought about that?

When thinking about who we are and are not attracted to, we need to understand two things about our type. What is our type? And who is our type? Before we answer those questions, allow me to show you how important it is to work this out.

Sooner or later, virtually everyone involved in a committed relationship will experience conflict in that relationship. This includes you and me too! When you do, you will likely ponder the following statement or something like it, "I just don't love him/her anymore and I realize now that he/she is not my type."

This is a very common misconception and the rationale is very flawed. There are several components that need to be looked at to break this down fully. Allow me to show you how.

What is Love Anyway?

First, you've heard it said before that love is a commitment. This could not be any truer. Love is not a feeling, but infatuation is. I am not picking on infatuation here. In fact, I have fond memories of the infatuation that eventually led to choosing to love my wife and stay committed to her for life! But love and infatuation are much different. Where infatuation says, "You make me feel good," love says, "I want to fulfill all of your needs." Where infatuation says, "What can you do for me?" love says, "I want to do everything in my power for you." Love is not a feeling that changes based on many external factors. Love is a commitment that is steadfast and rock-solid.

Who Do You Love?

The next misconception is that there is one particular type of person (and only one) that gets you and fits you perfectly. This kind of person would certainly never disappoint you or disagree with you, right? This kind of thinking is unrealistic and misguided. As long as humans are allowed to roam the earth, there will be conflict between them. This doesn't mean we have to fight daily, but it will happen from time to time. When you choose to love someone, you are choosing to stand by them in spite of all of their faults… and yours too. You are choosing to believe the best in them and hope that they will do the same for you.

Commitment is the Key to Contentment

When you are deliberate about staying committed, you won't wonder about whether he/she is your type. And when you stop wondering about whether he/she is your type, you are giving yourself permission to relax and enjoy your relationship. The bottom line is this: if your spouse is spontaneous, then that is your type. Further, if your spouse is slightly overweight and bald, then that's your type. Do you see where I'm going with this? When you learn to think this way, you are finally content! This is a great place to be.

Back Where We Started

So, who is your type? And what is your type? I hope you can see that these are really the same question, so they have the same answer. Your type is found in the one you pour your affections and commitment into. You need to always be mindful of the fact that whoever you willingly chose to marry is, without question, your type. You confirmed this yourself when you agreed to wed, when you said, "I do." The challenge for us is to recommit daily. The challenge is to say, "If I had to do it all over again, I'd choose you" and mean it. This kind of commitment is music to the ears of every type of person!

As always, we would love to hear your thoughts on this subject or how this has been helpful to you.

By Brad & Tami Miller. Contact us at brad@TandemMarriage.com. Copyright © 2016

Tandem Marriage

blog comments powered by Disqus

A Common Marriage Misconception About Your Type

Cupid, The Love DoctorDo you ever wonder what "your type" is? Have you ever thought about that?

When thinking about who we are and are not attracted to, we need to understand two things about our type. What is our type? And who is our type? Before we answer those questions, allow me to show you how important it is to work this out.

Sooner or later, virtually everyone involved in a committed relationship will experience conflict in that relationship. This includes you and me too! When you do, you will likely ponder the following statement or something like it, "I just don't love him/her anymore and I realize now that he/she is not my type."

This is a very common misconception and the rationale is very flawed. There are several components that need to be looked at to break this down fully. Allow me to show you how.

What is Love Anyway?

First, you've heard it said before that love is a commitment. This could not be any truer. Love is not a feeling, but infatuation is. I am not picking on infatuation here. In fact, I have fond memories of the infatuation that eventually led to choosing to love my wife and stay committed to her for life! But love and infatuation are much different. Where infatuation says, "You make me feel good," love says, "I want to fulfill all of your needs." Where infatuation says, "What can you do for me?" love says, "I want to do everything in my power for you." Love is not a feeling that changes based on many external factors. Love is a commitment that is steadfast and rock-solid.

Who Do You Love?

The next misconception is that there is one particular type of person (and only one) that gets you and fits you perfectly. This kind of person would certainly never disappoint you or disagree with you, right? This kind of thinking is unrealistic and misguided. As long as humans are allowed to roam the earth, there will be conflict between them. This doesn't mean we have to fight daily, but it will happen from time to time. When you choose to love someone, you are choosing to stand by them in spite of all of their faults… and yours too. You are choosing to believe the best in them and hope that they will do the same for you.

Commitment is the Key to Contentment

When you are deliberate about staying committed, you won't wonder about whether he/she is your type. And when you stop wondering about whether he/she is your type, you are giving yourself permission to relax and enjoy your relationship. The bottom line is this: if your spouse is spontaneous, then that is your type. Further, if your spouse is slightly overweight and bald, then that's your type. Do you see where I'm going with this? When you learn to think this way, you are finally content! This is a great place to be.

Back Where We Started

So, who is your type? And what is your type? I hope you can see that these are really the same question, so they have the same answer. Your type is found in the one you pour your affections and commitment into. You need to always be mindful of the fact that whoever you willingly chose to marry is, without question, your type. You confirmed this yourself when you agreed to wed, when you said, "I do." The challenge for us is to recommit daily. The challenge is to say, "If I had to do it all over again, I'd choose you" and mean it. This kind of commitment is music to the ears of every type of person!

As always, we would love to hear your thoughts on this subject or how this has been helpful to you.

By Brad & Tami Miller. Contact us at brad@TandemMarriage.com. Copyright © 2016

Tandem Marriage

blog comments powered by Disqus