Tandem Marriage

~ Tandem Marriage Blog ~

Please enjoy our blog where we have written some of our best advice, helpful tips, and things we ponder. These are all intended to help you have a better and more fulfilling marriage.

Please enjoy our blog where we have written some of our best advice, helpful tips, and things we ponder. These are all intended to help you have a better and more fulfilling marriage.

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You Can Foster Ongoing Passion in Marriage!

The Affair

We recently took a trip to Chelan, Washington with some friends. While there, we attended a special dinner event at Siren Song Wines. The event featured some great Spanish-influenced wines as well as some amazing food including Spanish Paella. As if great food and wine were not enough, we enjoyed some authentic Flamenco dancing while at the event too. The dancing was really incredible! It was a really fun date night.


While having dinner, the four of us sat directly in front of a fireplace that had a profoundly interesting piece of art hanging above it. As two happily married couples that have seen ourshare of unhappy marriages over the years, we struck up a conversation about this artwork.

The conversation went something like this, "What do you think is happening in this picture and what would you title it, if asked?" Tami answered first. As a marriage counselor who has walked countless couples through the devastation caused by an affair and back to wholeness, she said, "It looks like he is on his way home from work and stopped to meet his lover." Tami would have called this piece of art, The Affair. We all agreed with Tami's assessment.

"But," playing the devil's advocate, I said, "What if this was a married couple out on a date? They hired a babysitter for the kids and are fully enjoying each other and flirting with each other like they should?" "If that is the case," I continued, "I would call this piece The Happy Marriage." This prompted some great conversation about what married couples should and shouldn't do if they desire to have a great marriage. We all agreed that ongoing flirting between a husband and a wife, no matter their ages, was also a very good thing. And flirting is just plain fun too! Why don't we flirt more once we are married? And not just in hopes of leading to physical intimacy, but to foster ongoing passion and connection in our marriages?

I am convinced that the main reason we don't flirt more with our spouses of 10, 20, even 50 years is because we are not nearly intentional enough. We drift through life together getting worn out after dealing with all of the logistics of life. But, wouldn't dealing with all of those draining logistics be just a bit more tolerable if we added some flirty fun back into our routines? HECK YES, THEY WOULD! Tami and I are realistic enough to know that couples cannot do this every day, but they certainly can add some passion and fun back into their routines from time to time. I would say that you are not flirting with your spouse at least 4 or 5 times a week, you are definitely missing out. Flirting is as easy as sending a, "I was thinking about you" text message. Or how about calling while you are apart and when the timing is right, asking, "So, what are you wearing right now because I was just imagining you wearing _________." Be creative. Have fun and don't miss out on the benefits of continued flirting with your spouse. I am convinced that is precisely what the couple in the picture was doing!

The painting was commissioned by Kevin Brown of Siren Song Wines and painted by Nathan Rohlander. It is a beauty! Permission granted by Kevin Brown.

Here is one of our favorite books to give you some great ideas called For Men Only.

Finally, you can understand her!
If you’re like most men, you’ve burned up lots of energy trying to figure out what a woman wants, what makes her tick, how to make her happy. There is good news: success is simpler than you ever thought. In their groundbreaking classic, For Men Only, Jeff and Shaunti reveal the eye-opening truths and simple acts that will radically improve your relationship with the woman you love.

http://amzn.to/27eapux


If you have any comments or questions about this post, we would love to hear from you in the comments below.

By Brad & Tami Miller. Contact us at brad@TandemMarriage.com. Copyright © 2016

blog comments powered by Disqus

You Can Foster Ongoing Passion in Marriage!

The Affair

We recently took a trip to Chelan, Washington with some friends. While there, we attended a special dinner event at
Siren Song Wines. The event featured some great Spanish-influenced wines as well as some amazing food including Spanish Paella. As if great food and wine were not enough, we enjoyed some authentic Flamenco dancing while at the event too. The dancing was really incredible! It was a really fun date night.


While having dinner, the four of us sat directly in front of a fireplace that had a profoundly interesting piece of art hanging above it. As two happily married couples that have seen ourshare of unhappy marriages over the years, we struck up a conversation about this artwork.

The conversation went something like this, "What do you think is happening in this picture and what would you title it, if asked?" Tami answered first. As a marriage counselor who has walked countless couples through the devastation caused by an affair and back to wholeness, she said, "It looks like he is on his way home from work and stopped to meet his lover." Tami would have called this piece of art, The Affair. We all agreed with Tami's assessment.

"But," playing the devil's advocate, I said, "What if this was a married couple out on a date? They hired a babysitter for the kids and are fully enjoying each other and flirting with each other like they should?" "If that is the case," I continued, "I would call this piece The Happy Marriage." This prompted some great conversation about what married couples should and shouldn't do if they desire to have a great marriage. We all agreed that ongoing flirting between a husband and a wife, no matter their ages, was also a very good thing. And flirting is just plain fun too! Why don't we flirt more once we are married? And not just in hopes of leading to physical intimacy, but to foster ongoing passion and connection in our marriages?

I am convinced that the main reason we don't flirt more with our spouses of 10, 20, even 50 years is because we are not nearly intentional enough. We drift through life together getting worn out after dealing with all of the logistics of life. But, wouldn't dealing with all of those draining logistics be just a bit more tolerable if we added some flirty fun back into our routines? HECK YES, THEY WOULD! Tami and I are realistic enough to know that couples cannot do this every day, but they certainly can add some passion and fun back into their routines from time to time. I would say that you are not flirting with your spouse at least 4 or 5 times a week, you are definitely missing out. Flirting is as easy as sending a, "I was thinking about you" text message. Or how about calling while you are apart and when the timing is right, asking, "So, what are you wearing right now because I was just imagining you wearing _________." Be creative. Have fun and don't miss out on the benefits of continued flirting with your spouse. I am convinced that is precisely what the couple in the picture was doing!

The painting was commissioned by Kevin Brown of Siren Song Wines and painted by Nathan Rohlander. It is a beauty! Permission granted by Kevin Brown.

Here is one of our favorite books to give you some great ideas called For Men Only.

Finally, you can understand her!
If you’re like most men, you’ve burned up lots of energy trying to figure out what a woman wants, what makes her tick, how to make her happy. There is good news: success is simpler than you ever thought. In their groundbreaking classic, For Men Only, Jeff and Shaunti reveal the eye-opening truths and simple acts that will radically improve your relationship with the woman you love.

http://amzn.to/27eapux


If you have any comments or questions about this post, we would love to hear from you in the comments below.

By Brad & Tami Miller. Contact us at brad@TandemMarriage.com. Copyright © 2016

blog comments powered by Disqus