Tandem Marriage Blog…

Please enjoy our blog where we give some of our best advice, helpful tips, and share the things we ponder. These articles are all intended to help you have a better and more fulfilling marriage.


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How Your Feelings Will Get You Into Trouble by Brad Miller

Everyone has heard the phrase, "Follow your heart." This is certainly well-intended thinking that is based exclusively on feelings which can be very helpful and even very romantic. But without any context or qualifiers, this kind of thinking will get you into trouble much of the time! Furthermore, we all need to realize that our feelings should only inform our beliefs about ourselves as well as the world around us. Our feelings can be very, very influential in our daily lives. In fact, your marriage today is…

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Is Your Marriage Normal? by Brad Miller

At one time or another, most married couples will ask the question, “Is our marriage normal?” This is a difficult question to answer since it depends on your definition of normal. We would suggest that a better question to ask would be, “Is my marriage healthy?” So, what does healthy mean when we are talking about marriage? A healthy marriage is one where both spouses contribute to the marriage, love and appreciate each other as well as maintain good boundaries that would…

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Selfless Love, Thriving Marriage, and a Bunch of Pillows by Brad Miller

I thought about titling this article, The Marriage Lessons I Learned From 100 Pillows. Sound intriguing? Good, because it certainly is! Entering into marriage, each one of us has our own preferences,  peculiarities, likes, and dislikes. This means that those characteristics of yours and those of your spouse will most likely be different. Learning how to respond to those differences can make all the difference between being happy and being very…

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How Our Passion For Marriage Can Help You in Yours by Brad Miller

Tami and I spend a great deal of time helping others with their marriages. Just as important, if not more so, we spend both the time and energy working out the rough spots and differences in our own marriage too. We all have rough spots, right? Furthermore, we take the extra step required to understand if those same helpful principles we use in our own marriage can apply to the marriages of others as well. Why do we take this extra step? Why would we do this extra work? What follows is…

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There is More Power in a Marriage Vow Than You Realize - PART 1 by Brad Miller

Lately, I have spent a fair amount of time really trying to parse out the reasons why marriage vows are so powerful. To be fair, the reasons could fill the entire chapter of a book, if not the whole book itself. Nonetheless, I am going to do my best to merely give some of the highlights here. Please keep in mind that while it is not my intent to talk down to those who are not married (or not yet!), it's difficult to understand some of the benefits of marriage without contrasting them to…

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Why We Wrote a Marriage Book That Everyone Needs but Nobody Wants by Brad Miller

There is a great deal of solid information and teaching out there from some expert marketers on how to market products and services to people just like you. These experts in the field of marketing say that marketers (this includes us since we have books/products to sell) need to survey their potential market to find out where their customers are in life (not location), what they want, and to learn the language they use. Once that information is gathered, a good marketer can create a product specifically targeted to a group that…

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Those Who Think They Will Never Fall Out of Love Are at the Greatest Risk of Doing So by Brad Miller

Everyone wants to find true love and have it last forever. The ugly little truth is that things don't always work out this way—and we all know it. Couples often ask us about the best ways to stay connected. The very fact that so many ask this question implies that early on in most marriages, couples become aware that things seem to be changing—and they are indeed. Can a husband and wife learn what to expect with these changes and how to stay well-connected in spite of them? Yes, they can. We would love to share with you a simple framework to accomplish just that…

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Most Couples Think They Struggle With Communication at Times. Most of Them are Wrong. by Brad Miller

Tami and I operate a group counseling practice in Southern California. We are known throughout the area for providing the best and most practical marriage counseling around. We love this reputation. With ten licensed counselors and registered interns on our staff, we collectively see about 100 clients each and every week. All of this gives us some incredible insight into the kinds of things that most couples struggle with. Further, we know what it takes to get these couples back on track when needed…

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​Romantic Love is Great, But it Won’t Last Forever. And That is Good News. by Brad Miller

Tami and I have been married for over 32 years and we dated for 4 years before that. Additionally, Tami is a licensed marriage counselor and we have worked with many, many couples together over the years. Add to this the fact that I work in the neurology field and you will agree that together Tami and I have a pretty good grasp on both the psychology and science of relationships. Further, we love to share what we have learned with others just like you. We all know that the early stages of love brings us so much joy. Truth be told, there is a chemical cocktail of oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin….

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​At Some Point, the Majority of Spouses Will Wonder if They Married They Wrong Person. by Brad Miller

There is so much wrong with this line of thinking. We are not saying there is something wrong with you, by the way, since this line of thinking is so pervasive in our culture. This thinking will affect us all. So the job falls to us to teach you why this mindset is so flawed. This flawed thinking is based on the notion that there is one, and only one, perfect person for you on this planet. Only one! Remember that there are approximately 7.5 billion people on the planet. This “finding a needle in a haystack” kind of mentality tricks us into believing that when, not if, something feels wrong in our marriage…

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