Welcome to the Tandem Marriage Blog…

If you aren't sure where to start reading on our blog, check out our START page here which lists some of our most popular articles as well as some of our most popular resources. Otherwise, please enjoy our blog, where we give some of our best advice and helpful tips and share all the marriage things we are thinking about. These articles are all intended to help you have a better and more fulfilling marriage.

PRO TIP: Read each article as a couple (about one per week) and use the article as a discussion starter between the two of you.

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Most Couples Will Fight Over Finances At Some Point, But You Don't Have To!
by Brad Miller

You may have found this blog post because it has finally happened to you in your marriage—you and your spouse are in conflict over money; or stated another way, you are in conflict over your differences in how you try to manage your finances together. Don't panic, since this is merely an opportunity for you and your spouse to grow together. So, sit back, take a deep cleansing breath, and let us help you to work through this…

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80/20 Listening - You Don't Listen As Well As You Think You Do!
by Brad Miller

Without a doubt, the number one request we get from the couples we work with is, "Can you help us with our communication?" This request is always sincere and not completely off-track, but it is too simple to actually be helpful. The IDEA of great communication seems simple enough, but there are a hundred possible communication details between two well-meaning spouses, and any one or more of those details can…

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Do You Feel Like You Have Tried To Improve Some Things In Your Marriage, Yet You Still Feel Stuck?
by Brad Miller

You may be one of the couples, who after working through a handful of issues still feels stuck. We want you to know, while there may be some complexities in your marriage that have not been addressed yet, you don't have to remain stuck. In these instances, Tami and I often recognized about 10 or so different unhealthy patterns that are all converging to make it feel like you are both STUCK in a rut. This is both good news and bad news. Let me explain. The good news is…

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Your Guide to Knowing the Difference Between the Big Things and the Little Things in Marriage
by Brad Miller

Together, Tami and I work with many couples, so it becomes fairly easy for us to identify common patterns. At some point, the husbands and wives we work with almost always trip over a certain communication stumbling block. Invariably, he will say that she makes a big deal out of nothing, or she will say that he does. The reverse is also true, where one partner states that some things are never important enough (or big enough) to their spouse. Do you see the problem? Can you…

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How You Could be Poisoning Your Marriage Without Even Knowing it!
by Brad Miller

At some point, you will wrestle with negative thoughts about your spouse that don’t seem to have the potential to kill your marriage, but they do. Now, I’m not talking about ax-murderer kinds of thoughts, which will ruin your marriage in an instant. No, I’m talking about the thoughts that will kill your marriage very, very slowly. What I’m talking about is just like feeding your marriage one small drop of poison every day. After a week of this poison, your marriage will start to feel sick, like something…

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Your Words Have More Power Than You Think
by Brad Miller

When was the last time that you were guilty of taking words, with all of their power and meaning, for granted? If most of us are honest with our answer to this question, we would probably answer: "today," "yesterday," or "this week." Why is this so? Let's start this with a little exercise to bring this into clearer focus. The next time you watch a movie or TV show, ask yourself this question, "How were words used to build someone up and make a difference or how were words used to…

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Are You Saying, "I Love You" Too Much?
by Brad Miller

We often get great and insightful feedback from our social media followers. Recently we posted the picture next to the title of this article that says, "I don't tell you often enough, but I love you so much!" We received quite a few responses to this post. Most people loved sharing this post with their sweeties, but some were confused. In fact, we were surprised by how confused some couples were. The following comment summarizes the confusion very well. This particular wife said, “Mine [husband] doesn't think it's necessary to say it often…

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You Think You Know How Healthy Intimacy in Marriage Works, But You Probably Don’t
by Brad Miller

If we talk about "healthy intimacy" in marriage, we must be talking about having sex as often as a husband or a wife would like to, right? Nope! This thinking is dead wrong and will eventually undermine and can even ruin your marriage. It really can! Not to worry though because we would love to help you with a healthier view of intimacy, one that will keep your marriage happy and thriving for many years to come, instead of merely the next 15 minutes. To help us figure this out, let’s look to both science and the Bible because they both have much to say on the subject…

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Why We Wrote a Marriage Book That Everyone Needs but Nobody Wants
by Brad Miller

There is a great deal of solid information and teaching out there from some expert marketers on how to market products and services to people just like you. These experts in the field of marketing say that marketers (this includes us since we have books/products to sell) need to survey their potential market to find out where their customers are in life (not location), what they want, and to learn the language they use. Once that information is gathered, a good marketer can create a product specifically targeted to a group that…

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Most Couples Think They Struggle With Communication at Times – Most of Them are Wrong.
by Brad Miller

Tami and I operate a group counseling practice in Southern California. We are known throughout the area for providing the best and most practical marriage counseling around. We love this reputation. With fifteen licensed counselors and associates on our staff, we collectively see about 150 clients each and every week. All of this gives us some incredible insight into the kinds of things that most couples struggle with. Further, we know what it takes to get these couples back on track when needed…

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