Tandem Marriage Blog…

Please enjoy our blog where we give some of our best advice, helpful tips, and share the things we ponder. These articles are all intended to help you have a better and more fulfilling marriage.
PRO TIP: Read each article as a couple (about one per week) and discuss it together. 🔥

Your Guide to Knowing the Difference Between the Big Things and the Little Things in Marriage
by Brad Miller

Together, Tami and I work with many couples. At some point, the husbands and wives that we work with almost always trip over a certain communication stumbling block. Invariably, he will say that she makes a big deal out of nothing or she will say that he does. The reverse is true as well where one partner states that X, Y, and Z are never important enough (or big enough) to him/her. Do you see the problem? Can you relate?

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Your Words Have More Power Than You Think
by Brad Miller

When was the last time that you were guilty of taking words, with all of their power and meaning, for granted? If most of us are honest with our answer to this question, we would probably answer: "today," "yesterday," or "this week." Why is this so? Let's start this with a little exercise to bring this into clearer focus. The next time you watch a movie or TV show, ask yourself this question, "How were words used to build someone up and make a difference or how were words used to…

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Are You Saying, "I Love You" Too Much?
by Brad Miller

We often get great and insightful feedback from our social media followers. Recently we posted the picture on the left that says, "I don't tell you often enough, but I love you so much!" We received quite a few responses to this post. Most people loved sharing this post with their sweeties, but some were confused. In fact, we were surprised by how confused some couples were. The following comment summarizes the confusion very well. This particular wife said, “Mine [husband] doesn't think it's necessary to say it often…

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You Think You Know How Healthy Intimacy in Marriage Works, But You Probably Don’t
by Brad Miller

If we talk about "healthy intimacy" in marriage, we must be talking about having sex as often as a husband or a wife would like to, right? Nope! This thinking is dead wrong and will eventually undermine and can even ruin your marriage. It really can! Not to worry though because we would love to help you with a healthier view of intimacy, one that will keep your marriage happy and thriving for many years to come, instead of merely the next 15 minutes. To help us figure this out, let’s look to both science and the Bible because they both have much to say on the subject…

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Why We Wrote a Marriage Book That Everyone Needs but Nobody Wants
by Brad Miller

There is a great deal of solid information and teaching out there from some expert marketers on how to market products and services to people just like you. These experts in the field of marketing say that marketers (this includes us since we have books/products to sell) need to survey their potential market to find out where their customers are in life (not location), what they want, and to learn the language they use. Once that information is gathered, a good marketer can create a product specifically targeted to a group that…

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Most Couples Think They Struggle With Communication at Times. Most of Them are Wrong.
by Brad Miller

Tami and I operate a group counseling practice in Southern California. We are known throughout the area for providing the best and most practical marriage counseling around. We love this reputation. With ten licensed counselors and registered interns on our staff, we collectively see about 100 clients each and every week. All of this gives us some incredible insight into the kinds of things that most couples struggle with. Further, we know what it takes to get these couples back on track when needed…

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You Think Your Marriage is Safe From an Affair. Here is What You are Missing.
by Brad Miller

Let me get right to the point. Marriage drift. This is a phrase we use to describe the lack of intentionality in marriage. In your marriage (and most other things in life), you will either be intentional to learn, grow, and improve or you will drift. Think of drifting as what happens when you are in the middle of the ocean in a boat without any power or the means to move yourself anywhere. Think of the movie Cast Away with Tom Hanks. When you are drifting, you will merely end up wherever the forces of nature happen to take you. You will feel utterly powerless…

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What They Can Never Take Away From Us
by Brad Miller

What felt like the end of the world for us, was an opportunity for deeper connection in our marriage. I’m so glad we didn’t miss this opportunity. Here’s what happened. Tami and I fell in love at 17 and 18 years old, respectively. What a wonderful, fun time this was in our lives. Once we started dating, we enjoyed four foundational years of romance and were married by the time we were 21 and 22. We both came from humble backgrounds — so, in our new married life together, we had nothing except each other…

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How to Break Your Spouse’s Heart the Right Way - And Why Building Trust Matters
by Brad Miller

If you are married, sooner or later you will have to deliver some difficult or heartbreaking news to your spouse. Maybe you got the phone call about your spouse’s dad being in a car accident. Or maybe it was the message that let you know your spouse did not get the job they’ve been working so hard to get. Let’s face it, life is hard at times. So, what’s the right way to handle these disappointments? I recently got some really heartbreaking news. I knew that I would need to…

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Your Marriage Doesn't Live Here Anymore
by Brad Miller

This is a true story. There is a house that I drive by several times a week and have been doing so for years. Each time I drive past this house I can feel the weight of what happened there, or more accurately, what didn't happen there. At one point, when the "For Sale" sign went up, the weight became heavier still. And when the moving truck pulled away with the last of this house's former belongings, the weight for me was palpable. I have considered finding a new route that does not include…

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