Welcome to the Tandem Marriage Blog…

If you aren't sure where to start reading on our blog, check out our START page here which lists some of our most popular articles as well as some of our most popular resources. Otherwise, please enjoy our blog, where we give some of our best advice and helpful tips and share all the marriage things we are thinking about. These articles are all intended to help you have a better and more fulfilling marriage.

PRO TIP: Read each article as a couple (about one per week) and use the article as a discussion starter between the two of you.


Do You Feel Like You Have Tried To Improve Some Things In Your Marriage, Yet You Still Feel Stuck?
by Brad Miller

You may be one of the couples, who after working through a handful of issues still feels stuck. We want you to know, while there may be some complexities in your marriage that have not been addressed yet, you don't have to remain stuck. In these instances, Tami and I often recognized about 10 or so different unhealthy patterns that are all converging to make it feel like you are both STUCK in a rut. This is both good news and bad news. Let me explain. The good news is…

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Family: The Elephant in the Room
by Brad Miller

With the holidays approaching, I want to talk about the “elephant in the room.“ You know, that one thing that we all know is there, but don't like to acknowledge: FAMILY DRAMA!. If, on the other hand, someone reading this has a perfect family who never brings any drama to family functions, you can stop reading this now. For the rest of us, what follows is intended to help you navigate the often unpredictable waters of family dynamics without sinking your ship…

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Does the Thought of Constructive Criticism Between You and Your Spouse Make You Cringe?
by Brad Miller

The idea of "constructive criticism" for your spouse or from your spouse can seem like a euphemism at best and a guaranteed fight at worst. Therefore, we feel the need to wade into these murky waters with you for the purpose of helping to bring clarity to this idea and to help you have a better marriage than you ever dreamed possible.

We get asked some form of this question fairly often, but the most recent iteration sounded like this; 

What do you do if you have “constructive criticism” for your spouse? People do things differently and if you see somewhere where things could be improved on, how do you share…

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You Think Any Conflict Will Hurt Your Marriage, Here is Why You Are Wrong
by Brad Miller

Conflict has never been the problem.

Many of you reading this have always thought that any conflict in your marriage is a problem. Therefore, you work hard to avoid fights and don’t have any patience for them when you do have conflicts. After all, conflicts are just a big waste of time, right? Sometimes, you even secretly wonder if you have married the wrong person because of the conflicts that the two of you have. You have reasoned that if you had married a different person…

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Resentment Will Kill Your Marriage, But You Can Save It If You Do The Right Thing
by Brad Miller

Resentment is like a cancer. Resentment toward your spouse has no place in a healthy marriage — NONE! Even so, most of us have allowed little bits of this cancer-like resentment into our marriages from time to time. This article will help you understand where resentment comes from, where it will lead to if left unchecked, and how to eliminate it. Where Does Resentment Come From? Resentment is a result of unfulfilled expectations. In practical terms, this means that you had…

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How You Could be Poisoning Your Marriage Without Even Knowing it!
by Brad Miller

At some point, you will wrestle with negative thoughts about your spouse that don’t seem to have the potential to kill your marriage, but they do. Now, I’m not talking about ax-murderer kinds of thoughts, which will ruin your marriage in an instant. No, I’m talking about the thoughts that will kill your marriage very, very slowly. What I’m talking about is just like feeding your marriage one small drop of poison every day. After a week of this poison, your marriage will start to feel sick, like something…

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You Will Struggle in Your Marriage at Times
by Brad Miller

I always say that "every marriage has issues, some couples deal with those issues." The implication here is that, as a married couple, you will either deal with your issues or refuse to. There are only two choices here, you either have issues and deal with them or you have issues and ignore them. So, which kind of married couple are you? Furthermore, any individual problem that causes tension or an issue in a marriage, is a marriage problem. It is not his issue or her issue, not my issue or their issue. IT IS A…


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How You Can be a Hero to Your Spouse
by

At some point, we all deal with conflict and hardship in our own marriages – and we all wish we could navigate these situations better. Tami and get a great deal of feedback and questions from spouses who wish they could learn to work through these challenging issues in a healthier way than they currently do. We understand completely which is precisely why we talk about conflict so much and why I am going to share a new idea with you today. To be fair, this is not new to me (Brad) since I have been working on this idea for many years, but it will likely be…

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We All Have Issues, Yours Are Holding You Back
by Brad Miller

Imagine a marriage in which neither you nor your spouse has any real issues: there is nothing you need to work on individually or as a couple, there are none of those awkward “rough edges” in your marriage that remind you about the tension just beneath the surface, and you both agree on just about everything (with the rare exception being the color of the master bedroom). THAT marriage will never exist in your home, in your state, or on this planet. Never!

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What Started Out as a Date Night, Ended in a Lesson About Infidelity
by Brad Miller

Tami and I tried out a new restaurant the other night. In all honesty, the food was just ok. And since we are being honest, let me tell you what was going on at the table next to ours. Right next to us was a smartly-dressed forty-something couple having a glass wine and some appetizers. When we first sat down, I assumed this was a husband and wife enjoying a date night out on the town, sans kiddos. Since Tami and I just sat down, we were busy trying to get ourselves situated. We were looking at the menu to see…

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