Welcome to the Tandem Marriage Blog…

How to use this blog – If you aren't sure where to start reading on our blog, check out our START page (linked here) which lists some of our most popular blog articles, as well as some of our most popular resources. Otherwise, just start reading right where you are (below) and know that we will be giving you some of our best advice and helpful tips in every blog article. These are all of the marriage things we have been thinking about and teaching about. These articles are all intended to help you have a better and more fulfilling marriage by giving you lots to talk about.

PRO TIP: Read each article as a couple (about one per week) and use the article as a discussion starter between the two of you. Most of these articles include some discussion questions that are a perfect way for you and your spouse to dig a little deeper.

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MARRIAGE TOOLBOX - Timeouts Aren't Just For Kids
by Brad & Tami Miller

This article is the start of a new series we are devoting to building up your "marriage toolbox." So often, when we are working with a couple as their marriage coaches, they will say at some point, "We just need some good marriage tools." And while it is true that good marriage tools are a must, learning to use them correctly can make all the difference. After all, if we are talking about needing some actual tools for your actual toolbox…

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If You Don't Know What Your Triggers Are, They Are Secretly Controlling Your Life
by Brad & Tami Miller

We talk to couples all the time about "triggers." What are triggers and why do we have them? How do triggers affect us as individuals? How do triggers affect marriages and relationships? There is so much to learn about triggers, and so many ways that a better understanding of them can improve your marriage… so let's dive in. WHAT IS A TRIGGER?
An emotional trigger is something that sparks an intense emotional reaction in a person, regardless of their current mood. This means that you could be happy and content in one moment…

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STRESS: If You Don't Manage It, It Will Manage You
by Brad & Tami Miller

When it comes to stress in your marriage and in your life, you will either manage it–or it will manage you. While it's tempting for me to perform a "mic drop" here because the point has been made, I would prefer to offer some helpful ways to manage the stressors in your life and in your marriage. I believe that it's possible to have a better marriage, with fewer conflicts, when you do. Think about the times you have felt like you are coming out of your skin. Maybe you already felt bugged or agitated by something over the past day or two, then your spouse said or did that thing again…

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Life Will Throw You Some Curveballs – Can Your Marriage Survive Them?
by Brad & Tami Miller

As married couples, we all have two lives that we will live. There is the trouble-free dream-life that we planned together with our fiancé leading up to the day we married and for a time thereafter, and there is the life full of curveballs that we will inevitably need to deal with. Curveballs are unexpected, or unplanned for, situations that can push us to our limits both individually and as a couple. Furthermore, if we don't know how to…

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Most Couples Will Fight Over Finances At Some Point, But You Don't Have To!
by Brad & Tami Miller

You may have found this blog post because it has finally happened to you in your marriage—you and your spouse are in conflict over money; or stated another way, you are in conflict over your differences in how you try to manage your finances together. Don't panic, since this is merely an opportunity for you and your spouse to grow together. So, sit back, take a deep cleansing breath, and let us help you to work through this…

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Do You Feel Like You Have Tried To Improve Some Things In Your Marriage, Yet You Still Feel Stuck?
by Brad & Tami Miller

You may be one of the couples, who after working through a handful of issues still feels stuck. We want you to know, while there may be some complexities in your marriage that have not been addressed yet, you don't have to remain stuck. In these instances, Tami and I often recognized about 10 or so different unhealthy patterns that are all converging to make it feel like you are both STUCK in a rut. This is both good news and bad news. Let me explain. The good news is…

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Family: The Elephant in the Room
by Brad Miller

With the holidays approaching, I want to talk about the “elephant in the room.“ You know, that one thing that we all know is there, but don't like to acknowledge: FAMILY DRAMA!. If, on the other hand, someone reading this has a perfect family who never brings any drama to family functions, you can stop reading this now. For the rest of us, what follows is intended to help you navigate the often unpredictable waters of family dynamics without sinking your ship…

not putting there, but exposing

what do you still need to work on?

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Does the Thought of Constructive Criticism Between You and Your Spouse Make You Cringe?
by Brad Miller

The idea of "constructive criticism" for your spouse or from your spouse can seem like a euphemism at best and a guaranteed fight at worst. Therefore, we feel the need to wade into these murky waters with you for the purpose of helping to bring clarity to this idea and to help you have a better marriage than you ever dreamed possible.

We get asked some form of this question fairly often, but the most recent iteration sounded like this; 

What do you do if you have “constructive criticism” for your spouse? People do things differently and if you see somewhere where things could be improved on, how do you share…

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You Think Any Conflict Will Hurt Your Marriage, Here is Why You Are Wrong
by Brad Miller

Conflict has never been the problem.

Many of you reading this have always thought that any conflict in your marriage is a problem. Therefore, you work hard to avoid fights and don’t have any patience for them when you do have conflicts. After all, conflicts are just a big waste of time, right? Sometimes, you even secretly wonder if you have married the wrong person because of the conflicts that the two of you have. You have reasoned that if you had married a different person…

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Resentment Will Kill Your Marriage, But You Can Save It If You Do The Right Thing
by Brad Miller

Resentment is like a cancer. Resentment toward your spouse has no place in a healthy marriage — NONE! Even so, most of us have allowed little bits of this cancer-like resentment into our marriages from time to time. This article will help you understand where resentment comes from, where it will lead to if left unchecked, and how to eliminate it. Where Does Resentment Come From? Resentment is a result of unfulfilled expectations. In practical terms, this means that you had…

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