Tandem Marriage Blog…

Please enjoy our blog where we give some of our best advice, helpful tips, and share the things we ponder. These articles are all intended to help you have a better and more fulfilling marriage.
PRO TIP: Read each article as a couple (about one per week) and discuss it together. 🔥


Affirming Your Spouse; It’s The Secret Sauce You’ve Been Missing
by Brad Miller

We work with couples of all ages, from 20-something well up into their 70s. Some of these partners for life have recently tied the knot and some of them, like a towering and stable tree, have many rings for all the years they have been doing life together. Because of the wide range of couples we work with, we can’t help but take note of all of the common things that these couples struggle with. One of these common struggles is…


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A Marriage Needs Fertile Soil To Grow. Does Yours Have It?
by Brad Miller

Does your marriage have fertile soil? What does it even mean when we say "fertile soil?" This is one of those phrases that is used so often, the true meaning gets watered down. The word fertile means; (of soil or land) producing or capable of producing abundant vegetation or crops. For our purposes in this conversation, fertile soil refers to the material or environment that we plant a seed, a tree, or a marriage into in hopes of producing an abundance of good things in this life…


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Your Guide to Knowing the Difference Between the Big Things and the Little Things in Marriage
by Brad Miller

Together, Tami and I work with many couples. At some point, the husbands and wives that we work with almost always trip over a certain communication stumbling block. Invariably, he will say that she makes a big deal out of nothing or she will say that he does. The reverse is true as well where one partner states that X, Y, and Z are never important enough (or big enough) to him/her. Do you see the problem? Can you relate?

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Yes, You CAN Have a Better Marriage in Just Seven Days
by Brad Miller

For years, people have asked us if there is an easy way to get a marriage back on track. We have always said, “There is no easy way to get a marriage back on track, you have to do the work.” When we say, “do the work,” that typically means reading and comprehending good marriage books, or making adjustments to your mindset and lifestyle, or it could mean working consistently with a good counselor. And even though we still believe that doing “the work” is a good recipe for marital success…

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Comparison Will Ruin Your Marriage, Learning This Skill Can Save It
by Brad Miller

Most of us have some measure of a love/hate relationship with social media. We LOVE to see what other people are doing with their lives; how they live, how they vacation, how they dress, and how they love. But we ultimately HATE how all of this access into the lives of others makes us feel about ourselves and our own lives. These inevitable comparisons of our lives to the lives of others leave us with an unrealistic expectation of ourselves and our own lives. In short, we feel like we can never live up to the  standards we perceive in the lives of others…

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Hope Is Always Available, Even If We Have to Search For It
by Brad Miller

This past year has been crazy for us! I'm sure it has been crazy for you too! During the week before COVID interrupted and changed all of our lives, Tami and I were preparing for a Tandem Marriage mentoring weekend with another couple. We love these weekends since they are a perfect balance of bike-riding along the beach, mentoring a sweet couple, eating some amazing food, and laughing a great deal together. In the middle of packing for this trip, we received a difficult phone call from a longtime friend in Arizona…

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When You Look for Adventure Together, You Will Find It!
by Brad Miller

Most of you, just like Tami and I, are going stir-crazy trying to figure out ways to bring some adventure to your "stuck-at-home" life. We have been learning to be a bit more creative in an effort to continue pouring into our marriage while doing all we can to respect current conditions. With that in mind, we are so excited to tell you about our recent adventure! We recently heard some buzz about an up and coming boutique hotel called Cuyama Buckhorn…

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No Ordinary Anniversary
by Brad Miller

Learn to be flexible! Not every little thing that goes wrong needs to upset you. True story. Yesterday was our 35th wedding anniversary. THIRTY- FIVE Y’ALL! The two of us have been looking forward to our 35th anniversary for years, so we could truly celebrate in a big way. After much planning and a good deal of saving, we decided to go to Spain for a few weeks. I know, right? We dreamed of Spanish food, European charm, amazing old-world wines, and a great deal of sightseeing. Then COVID-19 happened…

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How You Can be a Hero to Your Spouse
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At some point, we all deal with conflict and hardship in our own marriages – and we all wish we could navigate these situations better. Tami and get a great deal of feedback and questions from spouses who wish they could learn to work through these challenging issues in a healthier way than they currently do. We understand completely which is precisely why we talk about conflict so much and why I am going to share a new idea with you today. To be fair, this is not new to me (Brad) since I have been working on this idea for many years, but it will likely be…

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Vulnerability, Laughter, and Shared Interests
by Brad Miller

Allow me to set the stage for you. I (Brad) have always loved music. Sometimes it feels as if well-written song lyrics, and the music that delivers them, help me to better understand things about myself. For example, if I hear a well-written love song, I will often feel more in touch with my own feelings about love and relationships. This means that a good love song can help me process feelings of love and affection for Tami, my wife. Therefore, when I hear a good sappy love song that speaks to me deeply, I play it on repeat — sometimes for days or weeks…

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