Welcome to the Tandem Marriage Blog…

If you aren't sure where to start reading on our blog, check out our START page here which lists some of our most popular blog articles, as well as some of our most popular resources. Otherwise, please enjoy our blog, where we give some of our best advice and helpful tips. In addition to that, we share all the marriage things we are thinking about right here. These articles are all intended to help you have a better and more fulfilling marriage.

PRO TIP: Read each article as a couple (about one per week) and use the article as a discussion starter between the two of you.

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80/20 Listening - You Don't Listen As Well As You Think You Do!
by Brad Miller

Without a doubt, the number one request we get from the couples we work with is, "Can you help us with our communication?" This request is always sincere and not completely off-track, but it is too simple to actually be helpful. The IDEA of great communication seems simple enough, but there are a hundred possible communication details between two well-meaning spouses, and any one or more of those details can…

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Can Mere Thoughts Ruin a Marriage?
by Brad Miller

If you have been married for more than a few years, then you already know each of you has some brokenness from your past. Most of the time, you need outsiders, or trusted individuals who know you to speak truth, wisdom, and healing into your lives. If you have allowed others this privilege in your life, then you are already aware of some things you should be working to improve. One of the ways in which many. of us can improve…

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Is It Possible For You To Change? Do You Even Need To?
by Brad Miller

"My spouse is the one with most of the issues, and as soon as they get to work on fixing their issues, our marriage will be better." Honestly, if I had a dollar for every time a well-meaning husband or wife said something similar to the quote above, Tami and I would be writing from our million-dollar sailboat off the coast of Bali. But we do not get a dollar each time a well-meaning husband or wife believes in something so utterly self-defeating; instead, we simply…

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Affirming Your Spouse; It’s The Secret Sauce You’ve Been Missing
by Brad Miller

We work with couples of all ages, from 20-something well up into their 70s. Some of these partners for life have recently tied the knot and some of them, like a towering and stable tree, have many rings for all the years they have been doing life together. Because of the wide range of couples we work with, we can’t help but take note of all of the common things that these couples struggle with. One of these common struggles is…


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A Marriage Needs Fertile Soil To Grow. Does Yours Have It?
by Brad Miller

Does your marriage have fertile soil? What does it even mean when we say "fertile soil?" This is one of those phrases that is used so often, the true meaning gets watered down. The word fertile means; (of soil or land) producing or capable of producing abundant vegetation or crops. For our purposes in this conversation, fertile soil refers to the material or environment that we plant a seed, a tree, or a marriage into in hopes of producing an abundance of good things in this life…


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Your Guide to Knowing the Difference Between the Big Things and the Little Things in Marriage
by Brad Miller

Together, Tami and I work with many couples, so it becomes fairly easy for us to identify common patterns. At some point, the husbands and wives we work with almost always trip over a certain communication stumbling block. Invariably, he will say that she makes a big deal out of nothing, or she will say that he does. The reverse is also true, where one partner states that some things are never important enough (or big enough) to their spouse. Do you see the problem? Can you…

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Yes, You CAN Have a Better Marriage in Just Seven Days
by Brad Miller

For years, people have asked us if there is an easy way to get a marriage back on track. We have always said, “There is no easy way to get a marriage back on track, you have to do the work.” When we say, “do the work,” that typically means reading and comprehending good marriage books, or making adjustments to your mindset and lifestyle, or it could mean working consistently with a good counselor. And even though we still believe that doing “the work” is a good recipe for marital success…

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Comparison Will Ruin Your Marriage, Learning This Skill Can Save It
by Brad Miller

Most of us have some measure of a love/hate relationship with social media. We LOVE to see what other people are doing with their lives; how they live, how they vacation, how they dress, and how they love. But we ultimately HATE how all of this access into the lives of others makes us feel about ourselves and our own lives. These inevitable comparisons of our lives to the lives of others leave us with an unrealistic expectation of ourselves and our own lives. In short, we feel like we can never live up to the  standards we perceive in the lives of others…

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Hope Is Always Available, Even If We Have to Search For It
by Brad Miller

This past year has been crazy for us! I'm sure it has been crazy for you too! During the week before COVID interrupted and changed all of our lives, Tami and I were preparing for a Tandem Marriage mentoring weekend with another couple. We love these weekends since they are a perfect balance of bike-riding along the beach, mentoring a sweet couple, eating some amazing food, and laughing a great deal together. In the middle of packing for this trip, we received a difficult phone call from a longtime friend in Arizona…

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When You Look for Adventure Together, You Will Find It!
by Brad Miller

Most of you, just like Tami and I, are going stir-crazy trying to figure out ways to bring some adventure to your "stuck-at-home" life. We have been learning to be a bit more creative in an effort to continue pouring into our marriage while doing all we can to respect current conditions. With that in mind, we are so excited to tell you about our recent adventure! We recently heard some buzz about an up and coming boutique hotel called Cuyama Buckhorn…

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