Tandem Marriage Blog…

Please enjoy our blog where we give some of our best advice, helpful tips, and share the things we ponder. These articles are all intended to help you have a better and more fulfilling marriage.


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Conversations That All Married Couples Should be Having by Brad Miller

For anyone who has been married for even a short time, you already know that there are conversations the two of you should be having – but you're not. We all avoid these conversations, each of us for varied reasons. Why do we do this? Why do we not have the conversations that we know we should have? The reasons are many and maybe you can relate to a few of these examples:

  • Maybe there has been more stress than normal in your home and you don't want to add one more thing.
  • Maybe, at the end of your day, you just don't have enough emotional reserve to…
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When You Look for Adventure Together, You Will Find It! by Brad Miller

Most of you, just like Tami and I, are going stir-crazy trying to figure out ways to bring some adventure to your "stuck-at-home" life. We have been learning to be a bit more creative in an effort to continue pouring into our marriage while doing all we can to respect current conditions. With that in mind, we are so excited to tell you about our recent adventure! We recently heard some buzz about an up and coming boutique hotel called Cuyama Buckhorn…

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Vulnerability, Laughter, and Shared Interests by Brad Miller

Allow me to set the stage for you. I (Brad) have always loved music. Sometimes it feels as if well-written song lyrics, and the music that delivers them, help me to better understand things about myself. For example, if I hear a well-written love song, I will often feel more in touch with my own feelings about love and relationships. This means that a good love song can help me process feelings of love and affection for Tami, my wife. Therefore, when I hear a good sappy love song that speaks to me deeply, I play it on repeat — sometimes for days or weeks…

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What Started Out as a Date Night, Ended in a Lesson About Infidelity by Brad Miller

Tami and I tried out a new restaurant the other night. In all honesty, the food was just ok. And since we are being honest, let me tell you what was going on at the table next to ours. Right next to us was a smartly-dressed forty-something couple having a glass wine and some appetizers. When we first sat down, I assumed this was a husband and wife enjoying a date night out on the town, sans kiddos. Since Tami and I just sat down, we were busy trying to get ourselves situated. We were looking at the menu to see…

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Adding Spice to Your Marriage Does Not Have To Be What You've Been Told It Is by Brad Miller

Tami and I love to cook together. After a busy week of helping other couples navigate their marital challenges as well as managing a growing business, we love the idea of getting into another space in our heads and hearts. You see, it is all too easy for the two of us to only talk about running a business together because that is what we do the majority of the time. These conversations about work come to us easily because we are deeply immersed in running a business all week long…

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You Think You Know How Intimacy in Marriage Works, Unfortunately You Don’t by Brad Miller

If we talk about "healthy intimacy" in marriage, we must be talking about having sex as often as a husband or a wife would like to, right? Nope! This thinking is dead wrong and will eventually undermine and can even ruin your marriage. It really can! Not to worry though because we would love to help you with a healthier view of intimacy, one that will keep your marriage happy and thriving for many years to come, instead of merely the next 15 minutes. To help us figure this out, let’s look to both science and the Bible because they both have much to say on the subject…

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​Romantic Love is Great, But it Won’t Last Forever. And That is Good News. by Brad Miller

Tami and I have been married for over 32 years and we dated for 4 years before that. Additionally, Tami is a licensed marriage counselor and we have worked with many, many couples together over the years. Add to this the fact that I work in the neurology field and you will agree that together Tami and I have a pretty good grasp on both the psychology and science of relationships. Further, we love to share what we have learned with others just like you. We all know that the early stages of love brings us so much joy. Truth be told, there is a chemical cocktail of oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin….

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​At Some Point, the Majority of Spouses Will Wonder if They Married They Wrong Person. by Brad Miller

There is so much wrong with this line of thinking. We are not saying there is something wrong with you, by the way, since this line of thinking is so pervasive in our culture. This thinking will affect us all. So the job falls to us to teach you why this mindset is so flawed. This flawed thinking is based on the notion that there is one, and only one, perfect person for you on this planet. Only one! Remember that there are approximately 7.5 billion people on the planet. This “finding a needle in a haystack” kind of mentality tricks us into believing that when, not if, something feels wrong in our marriage…

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You Think Your Marriage is Safe From an Affair. Here’s Why You're Wrong. by Brad Miller

Let me get right to the point. Marriage drift. This is a phrase we use to describe the lack of intentionality in marriage. In your marriage (and most other things in life), you will either be intentional to learn, grow, and improve or you will drift. Think of drifting as what happens when you are in the middle of the ocean in a boat without any power or the means to move yourself anywhere. Think of the movie Cast Away with Tom Hanks. When you are drifting, you will merely end up wherever the forces of nature happen to take you. You will feel utterly powerless…

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The Heart of Marriage and a FREE book! by Brad Miller

Every couple needs to spend quality time together. We refer to this as emotional connection, deep bonding, or just staying connected. We all know we need to do it, but few of us are intentional enough to pull it off. Life just seems to pulls us down and the quality of our relationships seems to wane with it. Tami and I recently read The Heart of Marriage. This is a collection of stories from dozens of authors (some of our favorites!) which is one of our favorite types of books to read together…

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