Welcome to the Tandem Marriage Blog…

If you aren't sure where to start reading on our blog, check out our START page here which lists some of our most popular blog articles, as well as some of our most popular resources. Otherwise, please stay here where we give some of our best advice and helpful tips. These are all of the marriage things we have been thinking about. These articles are all intended to help you have a better and more fulfilling marriage.

PRO TIP: Read each article as a couple (about one per week) and use the article as a discussion starter between the two of you. Most of these articles include some discussion questions that are a perfect way for you and your spouse to dig a little deeper.


Physical Intimacy In Marriage Should Have A Purpose - Does Yours?
by Brad Miller

We get asked a great deal of questions about what is permissible, sexually speaking, if you are a follower of Jesus. You may have asked yourself some of these same questions. Here are some of the actual questions we have been asked over the years. Is porn allowed if we view it together? Is masturbation allowed If I am not viewing porn? Can we use sex toys to enhance sex? Is oral sex allowed? My spouse does not like or enjoy sex, now what?…

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What You Have Been Taught About Good Sex is All Wrong
by Brad Miller

With every passing year, I see more and more clearly the chasm between everything our culture believes about sex (physical intimacy) and what my Christian worldview helps me to understand. You and I have been influenced greatly by our culture's skewed views and it has hurt our most important relationship—our marriage. It is time to take back a healthier and more accurate view of physical intimacy in marriage and it starts with asking yourself two very important questions…

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How to Use All Five Senses to Be a Better Lover
by Brad Miller

If you listen to what the world tells you about physical intimacy in marriage, you will end up believing that it’s all about you getting your own needs met. The actual truth is, when you allow yourself to focus solely on your own needs during physical intimacy, you are missing out on the very best that physical intimacy has to offer you — you are sacrificing deep relational connection on the altar of personal gratification. This is where it starts to get very interesting because when you seek personal gratification, that’s all you get. But when you seek deep emotional connection, you gain so much more…

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Conversations That All Married Couples Should Be Having
by Brad Miller

For anyone who has been married for even a short time, you already know that there are conversations the two of you should be having – but you're not. We all avoid these conversations, each of us for varied reasons. Why do we do this? Why do we not have the conversations that we know we should have? The reasons are many and maybe you can relate to a few of these examples:

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When You Look for Adventure Together, You Will Find It!
by Brad Miller

Most of you, just like Tami and I, are going stir-crazy trying to figure out ways to bring some adventure to your "stuck-at-home" life. We have been learning to be a bit more creative in an effort to continue pouring into our marriage while doing all we can to respect current conditions. With that in mind, we are so excited to tell you about our recent adventure! We recently heard some buzz about an up and coming boutique hotel called Cuyama Buckhorn…

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Vulnerability, Laughter, and Shared Interests
by Brad Miller

Allow me to set the stage for you. I (Brad) have always loved music. Sometimes it feels as if well-written song lyrics, and the music that delivers them, help me to better understand things about myself. For example, if I hear a well-written love song, I will often feel more in touch with my own feelings about love and relationships. This means that a good love song can help me process feelings of love and affection for Tami, my wife. Therefore, when I hear a good sappy love song that speaks to me deeply, I play it on repeat — sometimes for days or weeks…

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What Started Out as a Date Night, Ended in a Lesson About Infidelity
by Brad Miller

Tami and I tried out a new restaurant the other night. In all honesty, the food was just ok. And since we are being honest, let me tell you what was going on at the table next to ours. Right next to us was a smartly-dressed forty-something couple having a glass wine and some appetizers. When we first sat down, I assumed this was a husband and wife enjoying a date night out on the town, sans kiddos. Since Tami and I just sat down, we were busy trying to get ourselves situated. We were looking at the menu to see…

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Adding Spice to Your Marriage Does Not Have To Be What You've Been Told It Is
by Brad Miller

Tami and I love to cook together. After a busy week of helping other couples navigate their marital challenges as well as managing a growing business, we love the idea of getting into another space in our heads and hearts. You see, it is all too easy for the two of us to only talk about running a business together because that is what we do the majority of the time. These conversations about work come to us easily because we are deeply immersed in running a business all week long…

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You Think You Know How Healthy Intimacy in Marriage Works, But You Probably Don’t
by Brad Miller

If we talk about "healthy intimacy" in marriage, we must be talking about having sex as often as a husband or a wife would like to, right? Nope! This thinking is dead wrong and will eventually undermine and can even ruin your marriage. It really can! Not to worry though because we would love to help you with a healthier view of intimacy, one that will keep your marriage happy and thriving for many years to come, instead of merely the next 15 minutes. To help us figure this out, let’s look to both science and the Bible because they both have much to say on the subject…

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​Romantic Love is Great, But it Won’t Last Forever… and That is Good News.
by Brad Miller

Tami and I have been married for over 32 years at the time of this writing and we dated for 4 years before that, so we have some experience being married. Additionally, Tami is a licensed marriage counselor and we have worked with many, many couples together over the years. Add to this the fact that I currently do my work work in the neurology field and you will agree that together Tami and I have a pretty good grasp on both the psychology and science of relationships. Further, we love to share what we have learned with others….

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