Tandem Marriage Blog…

Please enjoy our blog where we give some of our best advice, helpful tips, and share the things we ponder. These articles are all intended to help you have a better and more fulfilling marriage.


Read more please…

Conversations That All Married Couples Should be Having by Brad Miller

For anyone who has been married for even a short time, you already know that there are conversations the two of you should be having – but you're not. We all avoid these conversations, each of us for varied reasons. Why do we do this? Why do we not have the conversations that we know we should have? The reasons are many and maybe you can relate to a few of these examples:

  • Maybe there has been more stress than normal in your home and you don't want to add one more thing.
  • Maybe, at the end of your day, you just don't have enough emotional reserve to…
Read more please…

When You Look for Adventure Together, You Will Find It! by Brad Miller

Most of you, just like Tami and I, are going stir-crazy trying to figure out ways to bring some adventure to your "stuck-at-home" life. We have been learning to be a bit more creative in an effort to continue pouring into our marriage while doing all we can to respect current conditions. With that in mind, we are so excited to tell you about our recent adventure! We recently heard some buzz about an up and coming boutique hotel called Cuyama Buckhorn…

Read more please…

Vulnerability, Laughter, and Shared Interests by Brad Miller

Allow me to set the stage for you. I (Brad) have always loved music. Sometimes it feels as if well-written song lyrics, and the music that delivers them, help me to better understand things about myself. For example, if I hear a well-written love song, I will often feel more in touch with my own feelings about love and relationships. This means that a good love song can help me process feelings of love and affection for Tami, my wife. Therefore, when I hear a good sappy love song that speaks to me deeply, I play it on repeat — sometimes for days or weeks…

Read more please…

Is Your Marriage Normal? by Brad Miller

At one time or another, most married couples will ask the question, “Is our marriage normal?” This is a difficult question to answer since it depends on your definition of normal. We would suggest that a better question to ask would be, “Is my marriage healthy?” So, what does healthy mean when we are talking about marriage? A healthy marriage is one where both spouses contribute to the marriage, love and appreciate each other as well as maintain good boundaries that would…

  • PC: Enrico Carcasci on Unsplash.com
Read more please…

Selfless Love, Thriving Marriage, and a Bunch of Pillows by Brad Miller

I thought about titling this article, The Marriage Lessons I Learned From 100 Pillows. Sound intriguing? Good, because it certainly is! Entering into marriage, each one of us has our own preferences,  peculiarities, likes, and dislikes. This means that those characteristics of yours and those of your spouse will most likely be different. Learning how to respond to those differences can make all the difference between being happy and being very…

Read more please…

Culture Says to Listen to Your Heart – Here's Why You Shouldn't by Brad Miller

You have been told over and over again to listen to your heart, but those telling you this are not telling you the other half of the equation. You probably already know what I'm talking about. Familiar phrases like, "Follow your heart," "Always listen to your heart because it's always right," or "Your heart knows things that your mind can't explain" are all over the internet. There are literally thousands of quotes on Pinterest, Instagram, and elsewhere that would seem to tell us to…

Read more please…

Those Who Think They Will Never Fall Out of Love Are at the Greatest Risk of Doing So by Brad Miller

Everyone wants to find true love and have it last forever. The ugly little truth is that things don't always work out this way—and we all know it. Couples often ask us about the best ways to stay connected. The very fact that so many ask this question implies that early on in most marriages, couples become aware that things seem to be changing—and they are indeed. Can a husband and wife learn what to expect with these changes and how to stay well-connected in spite of them? Yes, they can. We would love to share with you a simple framework to accomplish just that…

Read more please…

​Romantic Love is Great, But it Won’t Last Forever. And That is Good News. by Brad Miller

Tami and I have been married for over 32 years and we dated for 4 years before that. Additionally, Tami is a licensed marriage counselor and we have worked with many, many couples together over the years. Add to this the fact that I work in the neurology field and you will agree that together Tami and I have a pretty good grasp on both the psychology and science of relationships. Further, we love to share what we have learned with others just like you. We all know that the early stages of love brings us so much joy. Truth be told, there is a chemical cocktail of oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin….

Read more please…

​At Some Point, the Majority of Spouses Will Wonder if They Married They Wrong Person. by Brad Miller

There is so much wrong with this line of thinking. We are not saying there is something wrong with you, by the way, since this line of thinking is so pervasive in our culture. This thinking will affect us all. So the job falls to us to teach you why this mindset is so flawed. This flawed thinking is based on the notion that there is one, and only one, perfect person for you on this planet. Only one! Remember that there are approximately 7.5 billion people on the planet. This “finding a needle in a haystack” kind of mentality tricks us into believing that when, not if, something feels wrong in our marriage…

Read more please…

You Think Your Marriage is Safe From an Affair. Here’s Why You're Wrong. by Brad Miller

Let me get right to the point. Marriage drift. This is a phrase we use to describe the lack of intentionality in marriage. In your marriage (and most other things in life), you will either be intentional to learn, grow, and improve or you will drift. Think of drifting as what happens when you are in the middle of the ocean in a boat without any power or the means to move yourself anywhere. Think of the movie Cast Away with Tom Hanks. When you are drifting, you will merely end up wherever the forces of nature happen to take you. You will feel utterly powerless…

We use a few cookies to enhance your experience on our site, but we don't collect any personal information without your permission. Read our privacy policy here.