Tandem Marriage Blog…

Please enjoy our blog where we give some of our best advice, helpful tips, and share the things we ponder. These articles are all intended to help you have a better and more fulfilling marriage.


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Conversations That All Married Couples Should be Having by Brad Miller

For anyone who has been married for even a short time, you already know that there are conversations the two of you should be having – but you're not. We all avoid these conversations, each of us for varied reasons. Why do we do this? Why do we not have the conversations that we know we should have? The reasons are many and maybe you can relate to a few of these examples:

  • Maybe there has been more stress than normal in your home and you don't want to add one more thing.
  • Maybe, at the end of your day, you just don't have enough emotional reserve to…
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Vulnerability, Laughter, and Shared Interests by Brad Miller

Allow me to set the stage for you. I (Brad) have always loved music. Sometimes it feels as if well-written song lyrics, and the music that delivers them, help me to better understand things about myself. For example, if I hear a well-written love song, I will often feel more in touch with my own feelings about love and relationships. This means that a good love song can help me process feelings of love and affection for Tami, my wife. Therefore, when I hear a good sappy love song that speaks to me deeply, I play it on repeat — sometimes for days or weeks…

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What Started Out as a Date Night, Ended in a Lesson About Infidelity by Brad Miller

Tami and I tried out a new restaurant the other night. In all honesty, the food was just ok. And since we are being honest, let me tell you what was going on at the table next to ours. Right next to us was a smartly-dressed forty-something couple having a glass wine and some appetizers. When we first sat down, I assumed this was a husband and wife enjoying a date night out on the town, sans kiddos. Since Tami and I just sat down, we were busy trying to get ourselves situated. We were looking at the menu to see…

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There is More Power in a Marriage Vow Than You Realize - PART 1 by Brad Miller

Lately, I have spent a fair amount of time really trying to parse out the reasons why marriage vows are so powerful. To be fair, the reasons could fill the entire chapter of a book, if not the whole book itself. Nonetheless, I am going to do my best to merely give some of the highlights here. Please keep in mind that while it is not my intent to talk down to those who are not married (or not yet!), it's difficult to understand some of the benefits of marriage without contrasting them to…

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Culture Says to Listen to Your Heart – Here's Why You Shouldn't by Brad Miller

You have been told over and over again to listen to your heart, but those telling you this are not telling you the other half of the equation. You probably already know what I'm talking about. Familiar phrases like, "Follow your heart," "Always listen to your heart because it's always right," or "Your heart knows things that your mind can't explain" are all over the internet. There are literally thousands of quotes on Pinterest, Instagram, and elsewhere that would seem to tell us to…

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Are You Saying, "I Love You" Too Much? by Brad Miller

We often get great and insightful feedback from our social media followers. Recently we posted the picture on the left that says, "I don't tell you often enough, but I love you so much!" We received quite a few responses to this post. Most people loved sharing this post with their sweeties, but some were confused. In fact, we were surprised by how confused some couples were. The following comment summarizes the confusion very well. This particular wife said, “Mine [husband] doesn't think it's necessary to say it often…

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Those Who Think They Will Never Fall Out of Love Are at the Greatest Risk of Doing So by Brad Miller

Everyone wants to find true love and have it last forever. The ugly little truth is that things don't always work out this way—and we all know it. Couples often ask us about the best ways to stay connected. The very fact that so many ask this question implies that early on in most marriages, couples become aware that things seem to be changing—and they are indeed. Can a husband and wife learn what to expect with these changes and how to stay well-connected in spite of them? Yes, they can. We would love to share with you a simple framework to accomplish just that…

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You Don’t Process Your Life in a Healthy Way, and it’s Killing You by Brad Miller

We recently wrote, “What They Can Never Take Away From Us” which was a very difficult thing for us to write about. We were robbed and some of our most valuable possessions were taken from us. Forever gone. So, we decided to tell our story about what happened. At one point, someone said something like, “Yeah, but why would you force yourself to relive all of that when you can just forget it?”

I thought, “Forget it? Really?” Are we, as humans, ever able to willingly just forget anything?…

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What They Can Never Take Away From Us by Brad Miller

What felt like the end of the world for us, was an opportunity for deeper connection in our marriage. I’m so glad we didn’t miss this opportunity. Here’s what happened. Tami and I fell in love at 17 and 18 years old, respectively. What a wonderful, fun time this was in our lives. Once we started dating, we enjoyed four foundational years of romance and were married by the time we were 21 and 22. We both came from humble backgrounds — so, in our new married life together, we had nothing except each other…

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Your Marriage Doesn't Live Here Anymore by Brad Miller

This is a true story. There is a house that I drive by several times a week and have been doing so for years. Each time I drive past this house I can feel the weight of what happened there, or more accurately, what didn't happen there. At one point, when the "For Sale" sign went up, the weight became heavier still. And when the moving truck pulled away with the last of this house's former belongings, the weight for me was palpable. I have considered finding a new route that does not include…

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