Welcome to the Tandem Marriage Blog…

If you aren't sure where to start reading on our blog, check out our START page here which lists some of our most popular blog articles, as well as some of our most popular resources. Otherwise, please enjoy our blog, where we give some of our best advice and helpful tips. In addition to that, we share all the marriage things we are thinking about right here. These articles are all intended to help you have a better and more fulfilling marriage.

PRO TIP: Read each article as a couple (about one per week) and use the article as a discussion starter between the two of you.

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Physical Intimacy In Marriage Should Have A Purpose - Does Yours?
by Brad Miller

We get asked a great deal of questions about what is permissible, sexually speaking, if you are a follower of Jesus. You may have asked yourself some of these same questions. Here are some of the actual questions we have been asked over the years. Is porn allowed if we view it together? Is masturbation allowed If I am not viewing porn? Can we use sex toys to enhance sex? Is oral sex allowed? My spouse does not like or enjoy sex, now what?…

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The Marriage Tree – A Story Of Deep Love And Growth
by Brad Miller

The Marriage Tree - A Love Story. Imagine the most majestic and beautiful tree that you can think of. Even better if you can recall an amazing tree you have witnessed in person, rather than one you have only seen in a picture. I have been in the presence of many trees in my life that fit this description. One quite famous tree that comes to my mind is the…

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Parenting Challenges ARE Marriage Challenges, 1 of 2
by Brad Miller

Everything you do or don't do in parenting will also impact your marriage. In other words: "Parenting challenges ARE marriage challenges." With that idea in mind, let's dive in and see where we can help you with your marriage and parenting challenges.
BE ON THE SAME TEAM
One of the best things you can do for your marriage is to learn how to be united in all things – know that the two of you are a team and look for ways to work as a team. This is a simple concept, but will be…

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Buyer Beware, You Are Purchasing This Property "as-is"
by Brad Miller

Read that title again. We have all read or seen this cautionary statement before, which invites us to use our utmost discretion before proceeding. Maybe you have considered purchasing a new home. You are hoping to get a reasonable price on something and don't mind a house that needs a little love, then you see the phrase, "SOLD AS IS" which may stop you in your tracks. You wonder, "Am I stuck with this property forever, even if something is wrong with it?" It would certainly seem so…

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A Marriage Needs Fertile Soil To Grow. Does Yours Have It?
by Brad Miller

Does your marriage have fertile soil? What does it even mean when we say "fertile soil?" This is one of those phrases that is used so often, the true meaning gets watered down. The word fertile means; (of soil or land) producing or capable of producing abundant vegetation or crops. For our purposes in this conversation, fertile soil refers to the material or environment that we plant a seed, a tree, or a marriage into in hopes of producing an abundance of good things in this life…


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There are Different Types of Marriages in America, Understanding the Difference Could Save Yours
by Brad Miller

Some writers might start this article by saying, “Christian marriage is under attack,” or “We need to continue fighting for marriage.” I am convinced that both of those ideas, while well-intended, do little to help marriages to be any better. I also believe that understanding what marriage is, specifically what marriage is to you, is the critical piece that has been missing for far too long. Every marriage should have a purpose, but few spouses take the time to think about…

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Your Guide to Knowing the Difference Between the Big Things and the Little Things in Marriage
by Brad Miller

Together, Tami and I work with many couples, so it becomes fairly easy for us to identify common patterns. At some point, the husbands and wives we work with almost always trip over a certain communication stumbling block. Invariably, he will say that she makes a big deal out of nothing, or she will say that he does. The reverse is also true, where one partner states that some things are never important enough (or big enough) to their spouse. Do you see the problem? Can you…

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Yes, You CAN Have a Better Marriage in Just Seven Days
by Brad Miller

For years, people have asked us if there is an easy way to get a marriage back on track. We have always said, “There is no easy way to get a marriage back on track, you have to do the work.” When we say, “do the work,” that typically means reading and comprehending good marriage books, or making adjustments to your mindset and lifestyle, or it could mean working consistently with a good counselor. And even though we still believe that doing “the work” is a good recipe for marital success…

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How to Use All Five Senses to Be a Better Lover
by Brad Miller

If you listen to what the world tells you about physical intimacy in marriage, you will end up believing that it’s all about you getting your own needs met. The actual truth is, when you allow yourself to focus solely on your own needs during physical intimacy, you are missing out on the very best that physical intimacy has to offer you — you are sacrificing deep relational connection on the altar of personal gratification. This is where it starts to get very interesting because when you seek personal gratification, that’s all you get. But when you seek deep emotional connection, you gain so much more…

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Comparison Will Ruin Your Marriage, Learning This Skill Can Save It
by Brad Miller

Most of us have some measure of a love/hate relationship with social media. We LOVE to see what other people are doing with their lives; how they live, how they vacation, how they dress, and how they love. But we ultimately HATE how all of this access into the lives of others makes us feel about ourselves and our own lives. These inevitable comparisons of our lives to the lives of others leave us with an unrealistic expectation of ourselves and our own lives. In short, we feel like we can never live up to the  standards we perceive in the lives of others…

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