Welcome to the Tandem Marriage Blog…

If you aren't sure where to start reading on our blog, check out our START page here which lists some of our most popular articles as well as some of our most popular resources. Otherwise, please enjoy our blog, where we give some of our best advice and helpful tips and share all the marriage things we are thinking about. These articles are all intended to help you have a better and more fulfilling marriage.

PRO TIP: Read each article as a couple (about one per week) and use the article as a discussion starter between the two of you.


Most Couples Will Fight Over Finances At Some Point, But You Don't Have To!
by Brad Miller

You may have found this blog post because it has finally happened to you in your marriage—you and your spouse are in conflict over money; or stated another way, you are in conflict over the ways in which you try to manage your finances together. Don't panic, since this is merely an opportunity to grow together. So, sit back, take a deep cleansing breath, and let us help you to work through this…

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80/20 Listening - You Don't Listen As Well As You Think You Do!
by Brad Miller

Without a doubt, the number one request we get from the couples we work with is, "Can you help us with our communication?" This request is always sincere and not completely off-track, but it is too simple to actually be helpful. The IDEA of great communication seems simple enough, but there are a hundred possible communication details between two well-meaning spouses, and any one or more of those details can…

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Do You Feel Like You Have Tried To Improve Some Things In Your Marriage, Yet You Still Feel Stuck?
by Brad Miller

You may be one of the couples, who after working through a handful of issues still feels stuck. We want you to know, while there may be some complexities in your marriage that have not been addressed yet, you don't have to remain stuck. In these instances, Tami and I often recognized about 10 or so different unhealthy patterns that are all converging to make it feel like you are both STUCK in a rut. This is both good news and bad news. Let me explain. The good news is…

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Parenting Challenges ARE Marriage Challenges, 2 of 2
by Brad Miller

In the last article we wrote on parenting, we reminded you that "parenting challenges ARE marriage challenges." This statement could not be more accurate. In this parenting article, we will give you some more tools to help you with effective, healthy parenting. AGE APPROPRIATE… Many of the couples we have worked with over the years have heard us say things like, "Yes, you should talk to your kids about…

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The Marriage Tree – A Story Of Deep Love And Growth
by Brad Miller

The Marriage Tree - A Love Story. Imagine the most majestic and beautiful tree that you can think of. Even better if you can recall an amazing tree you have witnessed in person, rather than one you have only seen in a picture. I have been in the presence of many trees in my life that fit this description. One quite famous tree that comes to my mind is the…

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Can Mere Thoughts Ruin a Marriage?
by Brad Miller

If you have been married for more than a few years, then you already know each of you has some brokenness from your past. Most of the time, you need outsiders, or trusted individuals who know you to speak truth, wisdom, and healing into your lives. If you have allowed others this privilege in your life, then you are already aware of some things you should be working to improve. One of the ways in which many. of us can improve…

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What You Perceive As Control In Your Spouse May Not Be What It Seems
by Brad Miller

Most of the husbands I have met will talk at some point about how their wives are controlling in ways such as the wife needs to be informed about everything, have a say in everything, and often will want to tell a husband how to do things. Or, at least, that's how they see it. “What we often perceive as control in a spouse is actually much less about control than we think.” This is less about "control" and more about the differences between men's and women's brains…

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Buyer Beware, You Are Purchasing This Property "as-is"
by Brad Miller

Read that title again. We have all read or seen this cautionary statement before, which invites us to use our utmost discretion before proceeding. Maybe you have considered purchasing a new home. You are hoping to get a reasonable price on something and don't mind a house that needs a little love, then you see the phrase, "SOLD AS IS" which may stop you in your tracks. You wonder, "Am I stuck with this property forever, even if something is wrong with it?" It would certainly seem so…

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Is It Possible For You To Change? Do You Even Need To?
by Brad Miller

"My spouse is the one with most of the issues, and as soon as they get to work on fixing their issues, our marriage will be better." Honestly, if I had a dollar for every time a well-meaning husband or wife said something similar to the quote above, Tami and I would be writing from our million-dollar sailboat off the coast of Bali. But we do not get a dollar each time a well-meaning husband or wife believes in something so utterly self-defeating; instead, we simply…

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Affirming Your Spouse; It’s The Secret Sauce You’ve Been Missing
by Brad Miller

We work with couples of all ages, from 20-something well up into their 70s. Some of these partners for life have recently tied the knot and some of them, like a towering and stable tree, have many rings for all the years they have been doing life together. Because of the wide range of couples we work with, we can’t help but take note of all of the common things that these couples struggle with. One of these common struggles is…


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