The Marriage Tree - A Love Story

Imagine the most majestic and beautiful tree that you can think of. Even better if you can recall an amazing tree you have witnessed in person, rather than one you have only seen in a picture. I have been in the presence of many trees in my life that fit this description. One quite famous tree that comes to my mind is the Moreton Bay Fig Tree in Santa Barbara, California. This tree is believed to be the largest of its type in the entire United States!

This fig tree was brought to Santa Barbara, CA as a seedling in 1876 from by a fisherman from Australia. This tree was planted at the corner of Montecito and Chapala streets in Santa Barbara, just a few blocks from the cool breeze of the Pacific Ocean. Deemed a historical landmark in 1970, even the root structure has been protected by a large chain barrier that equals the size of the tree’s canopy. The circumference of this massive tree is over 42 feet around when measured 4-5 feet off the ground. This means that it would take 8-10 people, depending on their size, to stretch their arms around this tree while barely touching the finger of the person on either side of them. The spread of the tree’s canopy is approximately 180 feet. This means the widest part of the tree would span nearly two-thirds of a football field, even though that same football field would not be wide enough to contain the canopy of this tree!

While I have described this tree in the best way that I can think of, standing in the presence of this tree is truly awe-inspiring. Here it is. WOW!

Now imagine that your marriage is this tree – deeply anchored in the earth’s soil, drinking from an uninteruptable source that most people won’t see or understand, and offering shade and protection to all who come near. Your marriage has the ability to offer the world all of the best benefits of this tree – and so much more. However, your marriage could not offer those things when it was new, just a seedling. Sure, marriage was so fun and exciting then, just like planting a seedling for the first time and watching it grow, but your marriage was not as stable and inspiring back in the beginning as it will be after 20, 30, or 50 years. This is the kind of marriage we all want, and this is the kind of marriage we can have if we care for our marriages properly.

”Have you ever thought of the analogies between a healthy marriage and a healthy tree? Both need to be deeply rooted, well watered, and given room for continued growth. Is your marriage like that?”

Think for a minute about what your marriage would look like if it were a large, beautiful, healthy tree that could withstand the storms of life without being uprooted. Would that kind of “marriage tree” be a blessing to you? Would that kind of marriage tree be a blessing to those around you? Of course, it would!

Furthermore, husbands and wives can and should water each other (giving each other what they need to grow) to create an optimal environment for growth. We like to say it this way, “I water you. You water me. And we grow together.” What a beautiful picture of health and growth in a marriage!

“I water you. You water me. And we grow together.”

What will it take to get your marriage to that place of growth and stability? Again, the marriage tree analogy makes this simple. First, start with a healthy seed, that’s you! Next, don’t settle for just any dirt for your marriage tree to become rooted in, strive for nutrient-rich soil. We think The Bible, with all of its messages about love, forgiveness, grace, and truth, is the best soil you can possibly use for your marriage. Then, be sure your marriage gets plenty of sunlight and water; this is the daily care that you invest into your marriage.

Sometimes, we can allow ourselves to believe that having a great marriage is much too complicated. The next time you feel stuck and aren’t sure how to improve things in your marriage, just think of this simple analogy and put it to work for you!


1. Is there room for growth in your marriage? In what area would you like to see your marriage tree grow (relational, spiritual, etc.)?

2. What would you like your “marriage tree” to offer those around you? Or, what would you like others to take away after being around you and your spouse?

3. Growing a healthy tree requires some intentional work. What kind of work does your marriage tree need to be thriving and healthy?

4. The next time that you see a big majestic tree, how will you use that as a reminder to check in on your marriage?


If you have any comments or questions about this post, we would love to hear from you by using the contact form in the footer below.

By Brad & Tami Miller. Contact us at Copyright © 2024

Link to: