Unresolved conflict in your marriage is a huge waste of time and will make it feel as if you and your spouse are suddenly having trouble communicating and getting on the same page. And this feels like a huge waste of time because it is a huge waste of time!
Every couple who has been married just a year or more knows the misery of a conflict that has escalated out of control. It started out as something so simple, but before you knew it, things went way off track. The next thing you knew, each of you were backed into your own corner and feeling like you had to protect yourself from any more emotional misery. This is precisely the reason why couples begin to have so much difficulty with their communication. Remember how well you both used to communicate with each other? Well, what happened?
You simply drifted off track. Every married couple drifts, and we can help you to get things back on track!
We are Brad and Tami Miller and this is why we wrote Ready to Surrender - Poor Communication in Marriage is a Battle You Can Win. Read more about the two of us on our About page
Our book will teach you our time-tested strategies to help you in three areas:
* What to do before a conflict (Learning to manage triggers that get you into a conflict)
* What to do during a conflict (Learning to de-escalate and to manage your emotions and fears)
* What to do after a conflict (Learning how to grow and do better next time)
There are also chapters called:
* Are You Ready to Surrender?
* Marriage Myths
* How to Know if You Need More Help
* and, Guiding Principles
Guiding Principles contains concise chunks of marriage advice. They are what we call "nuggets of relational wisdom." This section gives you many "no-fluff" thoughts about what can make your marriage better today!
Ask yourself how much it's worth to recover a wasted hour of your life. How about 2 hours? How about 10 hours or more?
We are convinced that our new book will help you to do just that, it will save years of your life that would otherwise be wasted disagreeing, arguing, and fighting. And this is also time that you could've spent being insanely happy!
Still not sure? We have added some important extras to insure your success.
We dreamt-up and designed what we believe to be the first ever Conflict De-Escatiaon Flowchart. We wanted you to be able to see clearly what it would look like to move a conflict toward resolution instead of away from it.
So we combined our own research and time-tested techniques into this drop-dead simple flowchart that will help you take any conflict that is heading out of control and turn it around. You will ba able to calm things down, instead of ramp them up and spin out of control.
This flowchart will help you to take the information in our Ready to Surrender book to the next level. Once you read Section Two in the book (What To do During An Argument), and are able to see it laid out like we have in this flowchart, you will be blown away.
In the same way that compromise (meeting somewhere in the middle) is always a good idea for couples, de-escalating an argument should always be your goal during a conflict. Seek to bring things down a notch or two, not up. Nothing positive is accomplished once your conflict has reached a point of emotional damage, nothing. When you find that your level of communication has hit rock bottom, you will also notice that the frequency of your conflicts is on the rise.
You could merely read all of the steps in the image to the left, write them down, and learn them—and this would work. In fact, this would make us very happy because you would be seeing fewer conflicts in your marriage due to your efforts and ours combined. But most of you would rather download a clean-looking version of our Conflict De-Escation Flowchart without the watermarks. You could keep this on your phone for quick reference or on your tablet or computer where you can refer to it again and again as needed.
In fact, I keep it on my phone just in case I need to take a time-out (this is number six on the flowchart). Then it's right where I need it!
And that is the way we would like you to use this flowchart as well.
We have taken the time and a keen eye to design this flowchart perfectly. This makes it fun to refer to and easy to learn from.
We have never seen anything like it and we're pretty sure you haven't either. It also doesn't take long for most people to realize that a lot of time and care went into this De-Escation Flowchart.