Welcome to the Tandem Marriage Blog…

How to use this blog – If you aren't sure where to start reading on our blog, check out our START page (linked here) which lists some of our most popular blog articles, as well as some of our most popular resources. Otherwise, just start reading right where you are (below) and know that we will be giving you some of our best advice and helpful tips in every blog article. These are all of the marriage things we have been thinking about and teaching about. These articles are all intended to help you have a better and more fulfilling marriage by giving you lots to talk about.

PRO TIP: Read each article as a couple (about one per week) and use the article as a discussion starter between the two of you. Most of these articles include some discussion questions that are a perfect way for you and your spouse to dig a little deeper.

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MARRIAGE TOOLBOX - Timeouts Aren't Just For Kids
by Brad & Tami Miller

This article is the start of a new series we are devoting to building up your "marriage toolbox." So often, when we are working with a couple as their marriage coaches, they will say at some point, "We just need some good marriage tools." And while it is true that good marriage tools are a must, learning to use them correctly can make all the difference. After all, if we are talking about needing some actual tools for your actual toolbox…

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Parenting Challenges ARE Marriage Challenges – 4 in a series
by Brad & Tami Miller

HOW DO YOUR KIDS BEHAVE? For this parenting article, let's focus specifically on behaviors–how do you get your kids to BEHAVE in ways that will honor God, make you proud, AND make your kids proud of themselves someday? As a model, let's look at how God works with His children, us, to see what we can learn. In Proverbs 3:11-12, the Psalmist writes, "Do not despise the Lord’s instruction, my son, and do not loathe his discipline; for the Lord…

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If You Don't Know What Your Triggers Are, They Are Secretly Controlling Your Life
by Brad & Tami Miller

We talk to couples all the time about "triggers." What are triggers and why do we have them? How do triggers affect us as individuals? How do triggers affect marriages and relationships? There is so much to learn about triggers, and so many ways that a better understanding of them can improve your marriage… so let's dive in. WHAT IS A TRIGGER?
An emotional trigger is something that sparks an intense emotional reaction in a person, regardless of their current mood. This means that you could be happy and content in one moment…

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STRESS: If You Don't Manage It, It Will Manage You
by Brad & Tami Miller

When it comes to stress in your marriage and in your life, you will either manage it–or it will manage you. While it's tempting for me to perform a "mic drop" here because the point has been made, I would prefer to offer some helpful ways to manage the stressors in your life and in your marriage. I believe that it's possible to have a better marriage, with fewer conflicts, when you do. Think about the times you have felt like you are coming out of your skin. Maybe you already felt bugged or agitated by something over the past day or two, then your spouse said or did that thing again…

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Team Us — Your Marriage Can Be A Team That Wins!
by Brad & Tami Miller

Every husband and every wife inherently knows that they need to figure out ways to work as a team, or maybe more importantly, how to be a team. Yet, every husband and every wife will struggle to be a team at one point or another. Today, we are talking about BEING A TEAM IN MARRIAGE. This question was asked of us, "My spouse and I need help being teammates, and not being enemies. How can we do that?" What a great question! The truth…

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Parenting Challenges ARE Marriage Challenges – 3 in a series
by Brad & Tami Miller

In this parenting article, we will dig a bit deeper into the whys and how's, the motivations, that drive effective, healthy parenting. Every parent desires to raise great humans; that's not the kind of motivations we are talking about here. Instead, let's talk about the motivations behind your parenting mindset. Do you parent from a mostly healthy view of your upbringing where you spend the most time thinking about the helpful things you recall and how you can incorporate…

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Life Will Throw You Some Curveballs – Can Your Marriage Survive Them?
by Brad & Tami Miller

As married couples, we all have two lives that we will live. There is the trouble-free dream-life that we planned together with our fiancé leading up to the day we married and for a time thereafter, and there is the life full of curveballs that we will inevitably need to deal with. Curveballs are unexpected, or unplanned for, situations that can push us to our limits both individually and as a couple. Furthermore, if we don't know how to…

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Most Couples Will Fight Over Finances At Some Point, But You Don't Have To!
by Brad & Tami Miller

You may have found this blog post because it has finally happened to you in your marriage—you and your spouse are in conflict over money; or stated another way, you are in conflict over your differences in how you try to manage your finances together. Don't panic, since this is merely an opportunity for you and your spouse to grow together. So, sit back, take a deep cleansing breath, and let us help you to work through this…

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Physical Intimacy In Marriage Should Have A Purpose - Does Yours?
by Brad & Tami Miller

We get asked a great deal of questions about what is permissible, sexually speaking, if you are a follower of Jesus. You may have asked yourself some of these same questions. Here are some of the actual questions we have been asked over the years. Is porn allowed if we view it together? Is masturbation allowed If I am not viewing porn? Can we use sex toys to enhance sex? Is oral sex allowed? My spouse does not like or enjoy sex, now what?…

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80/20 Listening - You Don't Listen As Well As You Think You Do!
by Brad & Tami Miller

Without a doubt, the number one request we get from the couples we work with is, "Can you help us with our communication?" This request is always sincere and not completely off-track, but it is too simple to actually be helpful. The IDEA of great communication seems simple enough, but there are a hundred possible communication details between two well-meaning spouses, and any one or more of those details can…

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